AFTER 40 YEARS ◽ MARRIAGE

There’s something to be said for routines. Oh sure, there’s also something to be said for breaking routines and stepping out of ruts, and being spontaneous.  Those times are also great!  But for this month, I’m going to talk about routines…in our marriage…that is.  Sometimes, those routines are the very things that settle my soul and make me smile when I’m literally feeling like the world is spinning way too fast…

Morning kisses and hugs

We both have our own way of waking up to the morning.  I am up way earlier than he and I spend that time working on my laptop.  By the time he’s up, I’m usually already tired.  He gets ready to leave and there’s the first routine of the day, that lingering hug and kiss where we say we will miss each other and can’t wait to see each other again come evening…

Afternoon texts and messages

I absolutely love getting a random text from him that says “I miss you” or “How are you doing?”  I love to send him texts to ask how he enjoyed his lunch or to ask, “Are you coming home soon?”  Dings on the phone where his name is attached make my heart sing…

Evening outings

I work at home, so he is very gracious to go out with me each evening, even if we do nothing more than get a bite to eat and take a walk, holding hands.  This time together settles our minds and connects us, allows us time to unwind together and enjoy a fresh breeze.  I know that some nights he is super tired, and other nights I am too, so the routine of just being together is enough…no matter what we do.

Weekend movies and dates

By Friday, we have the weekend planned, actually written out on paper, so that we have it to look forward to.  Usually, there’s a chore or two, and then lots of fun away from home, like a movie, a walk, a nap in the car after reading a bit, shopping, visiting, church and more.  Sprinkled in those weekends are out of town day trips.  Planning and having those plans to look forward to, is fun for both of us!

Household chores

We have this agreement that he makes the bed and washes the linens, and I clean and make our lunches.  It works great for us.  When we need to do yard work, we usually do it together, because we both love being outside.  It’s a rhythm we enjoy and count on each other to keep the beat…

Before lights out

We have this small book with one page devotionals that he reads to us out loud, every night, before lights go out.  It wasn’t always this way, but it’s been happening this past year, and it’s awesome.  It reminds us both to love and to put the other’s needs above our own.  It includes a verse and prayer.  It’s short and simple, but satisfying…

None of the above is anything new or innovative; it’s pretty simple and plain.  But these routines are like little protective fences that surround us both and let us know we are in safe spots with each other, and with Him.  I know that many marriages don’t have any sort of routine, that there are huge breaks between relationships, and so much busyness and separateness that routines are non-existent.  For us, this works and feels good.  And when life gets so stressful that these routines get pushed aside, we feel the waves, and we work hard to row ourselves back to calm waters…

What routines do you have, and can you make, to settle your souls together?

WHAT ARE YOUR ROUTINES?  DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT OUR OTHER MARRIAGE STORIES.
Those Routines
by Marcy Lytle

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