COUSIN MOMS â—½ TIPS
Any mom that scrolls the web sees lavish parties for kids, reads about new parenting techniques or products that are must-haves, or looks as photos of perfectly put together children in clothes that are the cutest. You name it, there’s a trend or a band wagon to hop on, so that you feel in the know and on the go. We asked our moms to share something on how they’ve been influenced by a trend and then made their own way through it as their own family, with what fits for them.
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Kamrin
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Birthday parties…this is hard…if I’m honest. Having three kids that are lose in age and two of them being back to back birthday and one by Christmas, it’s very difficult to budget. When they were little (they’re now 13, 12, and 10) we just had parties at home, because it was simple. We didn’t do big events. As we’ve gotten older, it’s harder because the kids are involved in activities and our daughter wanted to start having sleepovers. We then shifted gears because it was just too much to have that many people involved. We then did park parties with pizza for the boys, so they played outside, or sometimes we just had snacks instead of a meal. Our daughter is very social and loves to plan, so her birthdays are big – with décor and sleepovers – at our home. We had a Hollywood theme, a Taylor Swift theme, which were super fun. We even rented little teepees one time, where each girl slept in one.
Now…in this season we’re shifting towards smaller birthday parties and more events. They now save money and buy things, they have Christmas, etc. We are running into “milestone” birthdays - double digits, 13, etc. We’ve now given tickets to a sporting event, to a concert, or a bigger gift like a refurbished laptop, etc. But our daughter still loves to plan parties.
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So finally, we had to change things and here are my tips: 1. Budgeting is very important because it’s easy to compare to others and what they’re doing for parties. So have conversations with the kids about all this. 2. Talk to the kids beforehand so that you can plan ahead of time with money and scheduling, and give them options. 3. The party doesn’t have to be on their exact birth date because of other activities. It’s not wrong to move a party to the summer months when time is there and money can be saved up for then. 4. Maybe nix sleepovers, because as your boys get older – the parents don’t love having their girls come over. And it becomes too crowded, and that’s okay.
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The last thing we do now is to create traditions, even if you can’t do like “others” do. Every year, when our kids wakeup they get a big number balloon, a gift, and a fun breakfast. They also get to pick dinner on their birthday. Those traditions stay even in lean times with money, or it stayed even during Covid, it’s a base tradition. And once in a while we add an event like a football game or an escape room, but it’s okay to just celebrate with the family
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It’s so easy to get lost in Instagram, and Pinterest and other things, but it’s good to do what you do as a family to create memories and celebrate each other.
Charissa
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We are so bombarded with social media and how other parents are doing things that I often remind myself that social media is a highlight reel – where others show the best or the good things. So I try to stay away from comparing myself with all the other parents. We have not jumped on the bandwagons, overall. We look more towards our own experiences, as we have amazing parents and utilize their examples, and we lean toward biblical principles from books or podcasts. These have been more of the influence on our parenting.
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However, we have utilized trends with organization or trips to take with our kids, or different traveling hacks:
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One trend is trying to be more simplistic, so we do have the rule with one toy in, one toy out – to simplify play. We do notice that when there is a lot of “stuff” it’s more overwhelming than a joy for the kids.
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Another trend on Instagram is having baskets for each kid and their stuff. I throw things in these baskets on the floor that are theirs, and then it’s the girls’ responsibility to empty.
Chores! I’ve given the kids age appropriate chores and I’ve looked at trends on this.
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I enjoy travel hacks in the car and saw organizational bins for the girls to hang on the back of the car seat. These are fun and enjoyable!
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And finally, our oldest is age 8, but we are holding off on cell phones and social media for a long time, which is a trend, too. Especially for the girls. We don’t want them to enter the world of comparing at a young age.