FIRMLY PLANTED â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
A Hard Lesson
by Dina Cavazos
One good thing about upheaval, turmoil, disruption (pick your word) is that it typically results in change. This has been true in my personal experience, and usually, it’s good change. Change can be unpleasant and takes effort to initiate. It’s easier to coast along…but then one day you realize your metaphorical garden is filled with metaphorical weeds. When those weeds get too high to ignore, then comes the work of change: chopping, clearing, digging, etc. But how nice it is to have a cleared garden with room to plant new things!
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The past year has been like that for me. Not huge, terrible upheavals, but enough to shake up my life a little. It didn’t come from outside forces--the responsibility is all mine. I confess that I’m a compulsive thrift store shopper, the first of the 12 Steps, and it was only this past year I realized the power it had over me.
My daughter started a re-selling business which offered a perfect opportunity to go thrifting and “help” her find things! It was a fun common interest we could share. The problem was that the hunt for treasures began to control me—FOMO demanded I go every single day. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) can become a tyrant if you let it. I found lots and lots of things, and wasted lots and lots of time. Eventually, I realized that my daughter didn’t really need my help and I began to back off, but it took a while to break the desire and habit of daily thrifting.
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I’ve been aware of my weakness in the area of thrifting—God has dealt with me about it before. It just kind of crept back in. I believe when we’re truly committed to following the way of the Lord and letting him be King in our lives, he’s faithful to put us back on track no matter how many times we mess up. This time, he let me have my fill of my chosen fruit until I was sick of it. The result of my habit was bags and bags of goods with forgotten contents. Bins and bins of vintage fabric and sewing paraphernalia filling the closets and living room. When I came to terms with the fact that I had to deal with the things my daughter didn’t need or want, it really began to feel like a weight.
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In the midst of that, I decided to get new flooring in my house, which meant clearing everything out into the garage. Then afterward, putting it all back. This was an opportunity to downsize and clean out yet again. Besides this bittersweet chore, I had outside projects, inside projects, writing projects, and other activities that demanded time. Too much stuff cluttered my space, which clutters my mind and robs my peace. I was sick of stuff and sick of not spending my time wisely. The things I feel called to do, writing and gardening, had fallen by the wayside. Everything felt out of kilter and I was overwhelmed.
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It wasn’t just the number of projects and the amount of clutter that overwhelmed me. It was the feeling of being out of step with God. Honestly, it was a struggle for a little while, and I found myself thinking what it must be like to have a true addiction. I have more empathy those struggling with that than I did before.
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Slowly, I got my priorities straight, regained control, eliminated most of the clutter, and returned to my usual and healthier routine. Have I gone cold turkey and completely quit thrifting? No, but I go out of choice not compulsion. Most of the time I don’t buy a thing. It was a lesson in what happens when we let our desires and compulsions get out of hand, one I don’t want to repeat. I’m back to gardening, writing, and occasionally thrifting with my daughter for fun.