PRACTICAL PARENTING â—½ HOME
Smiling
by Marcy Lytle
Do your kids smile at strangers or sneer? What about grandparents or other older people? When they are smiled at, do your kids smile back or shy away and hide their heads? I think all little kids do all sorts of things when smiled at, depending on their moods. But smiling, just like learning to walk, communicate and all other skills, is something we can teach our kids to do…and to respond to.
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Let me tell you a story. I was in line at a store and there was a little girl sitting in a cart in front of me. Her mom wasn’t really paying attention to the toddler, because the mom was looking at items in the cart. I smiled at the little girl and at first she just stared at me. She kept looking at me, and each time I smiled she reacted in different ways. She did sneer, she looked away, she acted out…and then she smiled. And that little girl was my friend in a matter of minutes, as she kept smiling at me while we waited for the next available clerk.
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I remember my own kids’ kids reacting similarly to strangers or even people we knew. Sometimes I was embarrassed because the kids were spoken to and smiled at nicely and then just stared back at the person smiling. Have you encountered that as well?
Maybe smiling is a learned activity that we can all practice in our families so that in public, we are nice and courteous to others, as well. After all, manners involve big smiles, don’t they?
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First of all, we live in a culture that doesn’t even notice those around us. If we walk on a trail, for example, many have earplugs in their ears, never look at anyone, and there’s not even opportunity to smile. And…we teach our kids not to talk to strangers…so they’re certainly not going to be inclined to smile.
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But here’s what we can teach them:
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Smiling at someone when they are smiled at is pleasant and courteous, if Mom and Dad are nearby, if the person is family member, or a helper in the store. When people smile at us, it’s a way of greeting us, and sneering or turning our heads away is discourteous. We can even practice with our kids at home, while eating and passing our food, or when we’re at a park and people pass by. We can smile and say hello, so that our kids see our kindness and follow suit.
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Sneering at someone is something all toddlers may do, but we can help them as they grow, to grow out of that response to a smile. Not in front of that person, but maybe when we get home, we can talk about why the kids sneered or turned away, and how that may have made that person that smiled feel.
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Smiling and turning up the corners of our mouths shows that we are pleased, and smiling also lifts our moods and the moods of those we smile at.
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Smiling is contagious, sort of like a yawn. When someone near us yawns, it often makes us yawn. It’s the same with smiling. It can make someone’s day when we smile at them.
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Smiling can improve our health. The Bible says a merry heart does us good like medicine and brings healing. Smiling at someone can make them feel better about themselves and their day, even if they don’t smile back at us.
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Smiling is just plain attractive. A smile is much better to wear on faces than a frown or a sneer.
I believe that because I kept smiling at that little girl that seemed irritated and ready to get out of that store, she finally smiled back, and this broke the ice between us.
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Talk to your kids about smiling, the benefits of offering one, and the blessing of receiving a smile from others. And remind them how we should never sneer or turn away when someone offers that special gift of a smile.