AFTER 40 YEARS ◽ MARRIAGE
When we’re young and dating, it’s all visual, isn’t it? If he dresses cute, smells good, stays fit and all the things…we’re attracted. I guess that’s the way it still works. But it doesn’t take long for those perfect, charming young men (and we women) to start showing signs of aging on the outside. Gray hair, the effects of gravity on the body, time and just life itself changes the way we look on the outside. Boy, does it change!
However, the cool thing I’ve been realizing lately is how handsome my husband appears to me in other ways, ways I never thought to notice when we were in our 20’s. Just lately, he’s become more handsome to me than ever…because I suppose I’m seeing beneath the skin… Although, it’s pretty cool how when you observe beneath the skin, the outward looks handsome again as well!
I’ve ridden with him during this pandemic, on days when my work was slow, and observed him in his element – his job. I had no idea of all of the details he attends to, people he has to deal with, and smarts he has to have when taking care of all that he does! I have been amazed at how well he does his job, and realized why he ends up so tired at the end of the day! That was impossible to know without opening my eyes to see.
I’ve worked more with him on projects. He recently built a wall around a transformer in our yard, and his skills at detail and perfection have always been there, but I’ve been too busy and self-absorbed to notice as much as I did this time.
He worked hard. He’s smart (Did I say that already?) And that man inside, the one full of integrity and grit shines through when he’s hammering and measuring. I’m a fan.
I’ve been with him a lot more. We stopped at a convenience store on the way back from a weekend trip and he returned to the car with his drink of choice and peanuts. In his other hand was a cup of ice, which he knows I prefer instead of drinking from a bottle. That little detail he remembered made my heart flutter. I smiled and gave him thanks, instead of barking at him about something else.
I’ve sat with him on the sofa so many nights, just the two of us. I love it when he moves our dinner dishes away so that he can scoot closer to me and hold my hand. He lets me rest my foot in his lap and rubs my feet while we catch up on a series we’re watching. I really love him.
He’s not perfect. Neither am I. But somehow, though our physical vision requires reading glasses for daily activity – our other vision – is getting sharper by the day. We’re both looking more at the other person for who they are now – what they’ve been – and their ways and stamina that we love.
And surprisingly to both of us, we are finding new romance emerging. No, it’s not that we’ve worked out and toned our bodies, lost a few pounds or erased a few lines. It’s mostly because we’ve been forced to slow down and observe, to give thanks for each other, and to remove our facial glasses and see with our years of being together – the people that we’ve become and are still becoming.
I think he’s the most handsome man in the world…all dressed up when we’re going somewhere…but even more when he’s doing what he loves to do…serving and working with his hands to give.
Growing older together isn’t so bad, and neither is being together 24/7.