COUSIN MOMS ◽ TIPS
It’s that time of year for the schedules and the homework and all the busyness. We asked our two moms with six littles, of all different ages, what frustrates them and what works for them…as school and schedules start up once again.
Charissa
August is here and school is starting!
The first thing I do the week before school starts is to start bedtime and wakeup time a bit earlier, so that the first week isn’t a shock!
For the busy mornings, we often prepare the night before as much as we can, to alleviate stress. The night before, the girls pack their snacks. But the school
provides breakfast and lunch thankfully. We also make sure the bags are packed with folders and signed papers. And…the girls pick out their outfits the night before. This eliminates morning stress in getting dressed.
When the morning comes, my husband is the one who wakes up the girls. He even gets upset if I do it! He loves doing this, telling them good morning, and getting them up. I typically make the breakfast, if some of us eat at home. And it’s easy – like waffles or hard-boiled eggs (made for the week) or yogurt bowls. The girls get dressed on their own, except the two-year old. The girls then line up, so I can do their hair!
My husband and I share on taking the girls to school. One of us takes the two older, and the other takes the youngest. We have a tradition of praying for the day’s needs while in the car, and then we pray for a good day.
I think what stresses me out the most is if I oversleep, or if I wake up and one of the girls is sick! Our oldest child gets up and gets dressed, as she is very routine oriented. Our middle child takes a long time to wake up, and it’s a struggle to get her out of bed. Same with our youngest, and she needs extra time. It’s interesting how our children are all so different in what they need!
Understanding each one and her needs helps us all, as does preparing the night before, as best we can!
Kamrin
No more elementary school kids this year – so I’m not sure I’m ready for the change this year – and three different schedules!
As far as responsibilities, we have worked on “letting go of the leash.” As a mom, to let go, my hope is by the time they are 16 they will be able to get up on time, and take care of their stuff, make a schedule, etc. The kids want to also have a job and make money by that age. So the older privileges are given from Mom and Dad, and it starts with the kids being responsible. And our oldest will be 15 years old this fall!
--That’s how our back-to-school looks – who needs what and who’s responsible for what. Of course, we serve our kids and school work comes first. So on long nights of homework and studying, we help. But if they have to go early, it’s even harder.
Soon, we will talk about bedtime, what time they need to be up, and to start a new rhythm – so that we are all ready. Next, we will talk through who does what and how regarding coming and going.
So, in general, every Thursday the kids send me what they want for snacks/lunch/dinner which helps me meal plan for the week. This helps with our budget and groceries. Once school begins, my husband is an early riser and he takes care of the lunches. And the kids set their own alarms, get up, get their water bottles ready and make sure their bags are packed for school. They make sure they have other things they need for extra activities, and they get their own breakfast.
Sometimes, yes, we might have to wake them up. They are still learning. However, we try really hard to not do that. The reason is…accountability. We spent an entire year dealing with (one of them) not wanting to get up in the morning, and it caused siblings to be late to school. We then took one and left the other. They learned consequences. So getting up and ready is important. There is always grace, but responsibility is important.
After school, they put away their things, and let us know about their homework. And if anything needs to be washed, they are to let us know early!
Middle school is hard to let them go and deal with consequences of not being responsible. But they have to grow, and parents can’t do it all. It’s so exhausting and the kids don’t grow if the kids aren’t responsible. It is hard for me! But watching our kids grow in the area of responsibility is a joy and a blessing. I and my kids have grown and learned.
I don’t like it when the kids make us run late, it’s a stressor! And there are always new challenges each year. I pray for the kids each day as they go to school. And for me, how I start my day and how we fill our home in the morning truly dictates the rest of the day. If I’m frustrated and yelling or stressed, or if they are, it’s a ripple effect and affects the rest of our day. So planning and taking care of things ahead of time really helps our family. Communication is key! As is our character, in each of us, as we figure out what works to help us all grow. And finally, we have to be willing to pivot…so that joy and peace is in our home.