UNPREPARED - ENCOURAGEMENT
How Friendship Changes
by Marcy Lytle
As I continue writing these articles on things I encountered as I grew older, I’m realizing that so much changes! Of course, we change all of our lives. But aging is a whole other ballgame, isn’t it? And navigating friendships, while hard at any stage of life, gets really interesting as we age.
First of all, we have to let go of all the expectations we’ve had on our friends. It really bothered me when we asked friends over or out to do something, and they never reciprocated. I took it personally back then, and experienced hurt feelings, thinking perhaps those friends didn’t like us. However, one day one of those friends told me they just can’t think of things to do, and they wait to be asked. It was that simple. Nothing more.
Friendships might be a lot simpler than we think.
I grew up in the same city all of my school years and I still have friends from elementary school! They know me and have known me forever! I equated friendship with loyalty, and that being a close friend meant being a close friend for life. But others don’t have the same experience. Lots of people move from city to city, change schools, even change families, and don’t have that same type of bond. That’s the point…
Friendships are gifts to be enjoyed, for however long, no ill feelings attached.
Making new friends is harder as we get older, I think. It’s just easier to remain with our friends who’ve known us, those we feel comfortable with, and to reveal ourselves to new friends takes an effort – one we’re not interested in making. But, as we all know, life throws curve balls and some of them are hard balls that send us reeling into new circumstances. We found ourselves at a new church in our early 60’s and making new friends felt scary. But some of those friends have become the sweetest new friends, and I’m so glad they reached out – and we accepted.
Friendships are worth the effort, at all ages.
Finally, life doesn’t have to slow down as we age. We might have a whole bunch of friends, or a few. And some of those friends may enjoy an adventure, and others stay close to home. We’re going to hear more about aches and pains, but we can change the narrative to sharing wins and blessings. There are creative ways to enjoy life with friends out and about, fun dinners, plays and movies, and it’s totally worth getting dressed up to head out…even if you want to head out early and get home early. Life is worth the living and the enjoyment.
Friendships are like lollipops. All flavors, and all delicious.
Friendships are going to change as we grow older, but so will our bodies, our circumstances and my goodness, our whole lives can be upended in a moment’s time. God is the friend of all friends, and I believe he cares about friendships with others. We can pray and ask him to bring new friends, bless old friends, and help us enjoy every friend that’s brought into our lives, for whatever time we have with them.