FOR BETTER OR WORSE ◽ MARRIAGE
I still remember the things that initially attracted me to my husband. He was funny most of all – he could always make me laugh! He was also confident and secure in himself, and he had a strong relationship with God. Obviously, I thought he was cute, too. And okay, as a girl from Colorado, I was captivated by his strong Texas accent. He was everything I wanted, and I knew I wanted to spend forever with him.
A lot of life has happened since we said, “I do.” But when I stop and look at my husband, he is still all of the things I loved about him in the beginning. We were young when we got married, and we’ve both done a lot of growing up since then. But the essential ingredients that make up my husband are absolutely still there. He still makes me laugh more than anybody else, especially with dumb jokes that nobody else would understand. He’s still confident in himself, and even more so in his relationship with God. I don’t really notice his accent anymore, but that’s because I’ve now developed one of my own. I’m a certified Texan now, no doubt about it!
It is so easy to get caught up in difficulties and see only the negatives, especially when you spend a lot of time with somebody. I often get tempted to focus on my husband’s faults or shortcomings, while seemingly forgetting that I have plenty of my own. And I also sometimes forget what originally drew me to him.
But the truth is that those things are still there, and I can still choose to cherish them. The rose-colored glasses may have worn off a long time ago, but he’s still the same amazing person I fell in love with. Just because we’ve gotten older and been through hardships added more members to our family, that doesn’t mean he’s stopped being my person. Sometimes I just have to sort through lots of other junk in my mind in order to remember that.
Here’s one thing I did a couple years ago to remind myself how awesome my husband is: I wrote a list of things I love about him and taped it to my bathroom mirror. That way, when life gets hard or we start to bicker and fight, I can look at that list and remember how much I love him. It’s good to refresh my memory every once in a while, and it helps me not to blame life’s issues and challenges on him. Plus, he can see the list too and get a boost of confidence from it whenever he reads it. That’s a win-win if you ask me!
If you’re having a hard time liking your spouse at the moment, I encourage you to make a list of things you love about them. If that’s too difficult right now, then start with the things you initially fell in love with. I’m betting if you really look, you’ll discover that those things are still there. It might look different now than it used to, but those qualities have most likely remained. Reminding yourself of those things can help you keep a positive and loving perspective toward your spouse.
We can all use a refresher every now and then. Why not start at the beginning and remember all the good times? Cheers to a happy new year, full of love and laughter, with the one God has given you!