MOVING FORWARD ◽ ENCOURAGEMENT
Another year is almost over and another is about to begin. Most, for me, have gone by in a blur, but this past year has been one new beginning after another.
I made a major decision in my personal life almost exactly a year ago which required a complete renovation, and I spent 2019 walking it out. I also started a new job last spring at a hotel which didn't actually open until a few months ago. The work involved in both areas of my life had some amazing similarities.
One of the things they had in common was both seemed to take forever! Before the hotel opened, we were all cleaners, regardless of the job we had been hired to do. I would show up every day in workout clothes and a ponytail, look around at all of the construction dust, and feel like we were never actually going to open.
It seemed I would spend the rest of my life scraping paint and cleaning up dust. My personal life also appeared to be nothing but a shapeless, chaotic mess with no relief in sight. Everything seemed uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and unrewarding. It was hard, most of this past year, to dream very big.
Eventually, the hotel started having furniture brought in, and I could see things beginning to take shape. It still seemed like a distant dream to think I would not always be cleaning, but the lobby of the hotel no longer resembled a blizzard. In the same way, I started feeling some order and accomplishment in my personal life. It still seemed lonely and unfamiliar, but I felt a little bit of pride in how far I had come.
Life was no longer completely formless.
Another similarity between work and home was, even when we finally did open, there was still so much hard work ahead! At my job, we have gone through one transition after another in the past few months. I remember thinking several times that I just wanted to get through the year so I could feel like I knew what I was doing and things would finally start to settle down. But, here we are at the beginning of a new year, and so much still feels unstable and unfamiliar.
I have had to learn so much in the past year. Life has changed and so have I. I have felt completely lost, miserable, exhausted beyond words, without resources and without hope. I broke down sobbing while trying to write this. But the beautiful thing about a new job, a new life, and God himself, is that the rebuilding continues regardless of how I think or feel. While nothing in any area of my life has gone or turned out the way I thought it would, I am not only excited about the future; I am also more confident than ever that, with God, I can handle whatever lies ahead. Both the hotel where I work and my personal life have become beautiful works of art. I couldn't be more proud of both.