Do you ever get nervous to share your faith?

If you do, you are in good company. You see, I have moved all over the globe for the cause of the gospel. Parents are pastors, lived multiple summers in Latin America to share Jesus, traveled to the Middle East, and Europe for the same reasons… But gosh dang it, I get SO nervous to share my faith here at home. It’s not even those who don’t believe that cause the stress (I don’t have expectations on those who don’t know.) Even though I do want to walk in humility around those that don’t believe, but no… It’s honestly the Christian community that oftentimes puts me on edge.  We put SO much pressure on the body of believers to believe a certain theology (yes theology is important), fellowship a certain way (yes, community is important), attend every event, be the one with your hands held high, but alas -- you have anxiety?

How dare you even think of taking a medication? Jesus heals and I am believing that for you today! (Is it bad to say thank you and I am believing that too, but this is helping me until healing happens?)

What about just being?

What about those of us who Jesus meets in the quiet places?

I find myself nervous to share my faith because I have received so much criticism over how I should do better, that fear and shame creep in and I would rather walk with my head down than have to smile at the non-believer in the aisle across from me. And I HATE that. So what is one to-do? What about faith over fear? What about mercy over judgement?

Honestly, there are so many questions I have and am still walking out. Wearing these masks have given me something else to hide behind; an easy out because ‘the world sucks right now so I have an excuse to let my attitude as well!’ Until, I am laughing in the aisle with my husband and a woman looks over at me and says, ‘I can see that smile in your eyes. No need to hide it!’ (True story) and I stand in shock and suddenly realize that the gateway to my soul is the most visible part of my face now.

So here is what I’m attempting to do to share my faith. I smile under the mask, A LOT. I wave to strangers and humbly tell them to have a blessed day. I talk to my neighbors and acquaintances and let them know that they are in my prayers and if they ever need a hand to hold or person to talk to, my table is always open. I also love my family and do my best to hear their hopes, fears, and dreams about the world and pray for them in their day-to-days often.

Honestly, I am still working out what fully and boldly sharing my faith looks like wholly. And I will be for a while. But know that if you need to take off whatever physical or conspired mask you’re wearing, leave a message below. Know you’re in my prayers, I’ll hold your hand through it as long as you let me, and you always have a seat to ask questions at my table.

Holding you close…  

Under the Mask
by Hannah Bouck

© 2012 A Bundle of T-H-Y-M-E Magazine | Online Women's Magazine All Rights Reserved. Powered by Wix.comTrouble with the website? Please email us.