FEATURE STORY
I have lots of friends. I have lived a long time, so I have friends from childhood as well as friends I’ve only made in the past few years. My husband and I have friends we love to hang out with over dinner, or go on road trips with, or sit at a coffee shop with and visit. And while I love getting together with these friends, there are LOTS of friends I have that I only communicate with via text or email…and I wonder…why is that?
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I have a friend that loves movies as much as I do, and we chat about them through texting, we check on each other regularly and share trip destinations, too. But we rarely get together.
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Many friends from my past are still my friends and they might show up at a festival, while shopping at a store, and we both exclaim, “Oh, it’s so good to see you!” We catch up over a matter of minutes (it’s sad how a lifetime of experiences can be condensed into a 10 minute conversation) and we’re on our way until the next time one of us pops up into the other’s space.
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There’s the occasional friend that I’ve stayed in contact with via Facebook and we actually make it a point to visit finally…after decades of not seeing each other. And when we do, it’s like we never missed a beat. We remember why we liked each other so much in the first place, and the visit is delightful, but then…more time passes and we only say hi on the net….
I’ve met friends in other states on Instagram and we chat often and I’ve even met a few of them while traveling, had dinner with them, and honestly…it was so fun…I wish they lived closer or were my neighbors. These friends reach out and comment and we have little snippets of conversation and I love these women, we’ve become besties for sure…even though some of them I’ve never met in person.
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And then there is my daughter, and my daughter-in-law, two ladies I love with my core. I love any time I get to spend with them, but it’s usually with the kids nearby and we don’t really get to have deep conversations. But I just love looking at them and admiring who they are and who they have become.
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There are friends I wave at in my neighborhood as I take walks, and I don’t even know their names. But there’s this smile that only neighbors give, and we know we’re happy to see each other around the corner again.
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But the most interesting thing of all to me that so often, more often than not, I’m content to sit within my four walls and only make plans to visit with a few friends. I’m comfortable just talking via text or even Facebook messenger to catch up and check in. And sometimes, it bothers me. And there are days when I’m overwhelmingly sad at the friends from my past that I have lost contact with, that I never hear from and I don’t contact them, either. Or when I do, they don’t seem interested in reciprocating.
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Friendships are multilayered, emotional, hard to manage and maintain; and yet so, so necessary. And as the Good Book says, to have friends we must be friendly. But being friendly looks different in every season of life as we pull back, reach out, then pull back some more as life hits us hard in a barrage of storms and experiences that shape who we are.
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I’m thankful for the friends that reach out to me, it means the world. Just now a friend texted me earlier than I know she normally awakes just to check on my sister, who lost her husband a few months ago. That check-in, her text to me, and her note that she will pray for my sis made my day.
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I want to be a good friend, but some days I don’t feel like I am as I hide behind my keyboard tapping out articles that share my heart instead of meeting with a friend over coffee (well, I don’t like coffee but another drink…). I want to offer my friends grace as they too hide or disappear for a while or don’t respond, because life is hard and sometimes retreating feels like surviving, and I get it. And I want to continue to cherish that friend that calls to meet me for lunch as we linger and never want to leave the table, because conversation is that deep and wonderful (my daughter’s mom is this friend). And I absolutely love the friend that I haven’t seen in months that also meets me and encourages me and loves on me, always, and she always will. I know that about her. And there’s a prayer warrior friend who checks in on me all the time, and I love her, because we’re connected for life. Oh my, I’m realizing I have some wonderful friends!
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Friendship. It’s necessary, life-giving, and the gift of all gifts. Whether it’s a friend far or near, one I see often or not at all, or another friend who also hides behind her laptop…they’re all special to me. And I’m so grateful.
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The photo above…that’s my granddaughter and her friend, when we took them to see My Fair Lady. Will they be friends for life? I have no idea, but they’re enjoying their friendship now that has lasted a few years already…and that makes me smile.