I DON'T DO TEENAGERS ◽ HOME
Haven’t you heard this a thousand times from the kids?
“That’s not fair!” she exclaims when that girl won the contest, though she cheated.
“That’s not fair!” he whines as he stomps off the field, knowing he was safe at first base.
Even adults say this phrase when life doesn’t go as planned, or something horrible happens. Life isn’t fair, and none of us likes it. After all, isn’t God a just father who makes sure things go the way they’re supposed to go? Wouldn’t a good father make sure his children are treated right?
One of the best verses in the bible for all of us when life isn’t fair is found in I Peter where we are told to cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for us. Unfairness in this world causes anxiety because we feel we aren’t being treated fairly.
If your teens say this, and they will, sit down and have a talk about God’s character. He cares for us in the best way possible and sees things we don’t see. And any thoughts that “roar” in our mind about being treated unfairly are just thoughts. They’re not true.
Imagine how Jesus felt when he was mocked, beaten and bruised. Surely he felt that life was unfair, because he had done nothing to deserve such treatment. He had only loved others, obeyed his Father, and what did he get? Pain.
There will be times in life where it seems life is unfair. Especially when Mom and Dad say no, and our teens will not understand. They may slam doors, give us the looks of despair, or turn away from our love for a bit.
Help your teens through the unfair times of life by:
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Reminding them that God is good, all the time. It’s who he is. We can trust that he has our back, even if it feels like he’s unaware. God is so aware and cares, more than even Mom and Dad.
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Reminding them that they are loved by you. If the answer is no, be patient and wait until understanding comes. Or better yet, just trust Mom and Dad that the best is what you want for them.
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Reminding them that bitterness – being angry and staying angry - produces more frustration. Letting go and trusting in God’s ways and Mom and Dad’s wisdom brings peace.
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Reminding them to continue to do good, practice kindness, and love others – no matter the cost.
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Reminding them that God sees from up there, and we see from down here, and that’s two totally different perspectives. His perspective is right, though all we can see down here is wrong.
Maybe once a month, sit down with your teens and ask them if anything in their life seems unfair by their standards. Talk about it, pray about it, release it together, and give thanks for the good God that governs the lives of those who love him and serve him. (While you’re at it, remind yourself of the same thing…)