I DON'T DO TEENAGERS â—½ HOME
We don’t talk much in this magazine about dark things…like porn. But maybe it’s time we address this issue that drags our teens into a world of danger and darkness like nothing else. It even can become an addiction, just as devastating as drugs or alcohol. So how do we prevent this from starting and certainly nip it in the bud if it does? I’m no expert at all, but have researched a bit and offer encouragement:
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It can start with movies and internet. We might monitor our teens coming and going, but often we let them loose when it comes to what they watch. And this can be the start of the addiction. There are movies with scenes that are unforgettable, depict the unthinkable, and ruin the beauty of what God intended love to be between a man and a woman. Beastly acts, abusive behavior, and rabid physical satisfaction starts this trend toward taking and demanding by any means possible, until the darkness of despair enters one of the most beautiful things couples share.
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Place boundaries on where your teens go and what they see,
and what they watch on their phones.
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It can lead to shame and guilt. Maybe your teens are sucked into watching these unthinkable acts in the movies they share with friends at their houses. Perhaps at night when they’re alone and their hormones are raging, they begin to explore what’s out there and think about
participating in some way. However, your teens can also feel remorse or shame and guilt for their feelings and their desires, and their need to be liked by the crowd of friends or other teens with whom they hang.
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Talk to your teens about their emotional and sexual feelings and lead them to the Word – about remaining pure – thinking pure thoughts – relying on the Holy Spirit to lead them – and then choosing to follow the truth.
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Not talking to your teens could add to the shame…so talk.
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Make sure your hidden addictions aren’t part of the problem. Lots of parents also indulge in porn either privately or together, when they’re behind closed doors. But, why? Why are we attracted as adults to alternative behavior in the bedroom? Maybe our own marriages need some counsel, or we need to read the Word ourselves about having our needs met only through Jesus, and how to love each other in ways that respect and honor.
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Consider your own desires, and confess them to Him.
Ask God to help you lead your children by example.
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Focus on the Family puts it this way - "Exposure to a sexual culture causes boys and girls to become consumers of people." Wow. That’s alarming. Teen brains are completely vulnerable and once certain things are seen, it’s hard to un-see them. It can be that way with adults, as well. The brain becomes enslaved and the immediate desire for pornography becomes as basic as the need for food and water.
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Kids aren’t going to come to us. We need to go to them with love and training and warnings…leaving our door open always for talk and prayer and hugs and affirmation.
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The Word is our best defense to things of evil, so stand on it, love it, pray it, and speak it…with and over your kids as long as they live.