AFTER 40 YEARS ◽ MARRIAGE

We started with a picnic by a pretty pond, and he took the blanket and spread it out for us to sit on and eat.  Right away he noticed some ants on my corner of the blanket, and suggested I toss a piece of a pretzel off into the grass and it worked!  The ants diverted…

 

In the car, we were reading for a bit and he made sure we had a spot that was shaded, that I was comfortable, and my seat was in the right position.  We often stop to read or rest under a shade tree, just because we can and it relaxes us both and makes us nice people the rest of the day.

In the afternoon, we took our lawn chairs and found another spot to sit and watch ducks and people fish and chill.  This was an entire Saturday outside because the repressive heat of the summer was gone and it was SO NICE with the cooler temps.    He carried both chairs, opened them up, and made sure I liked where I was sitting.

By the evening, we were back home and on the sofa.  He grabbed my feet and started rubbing them, which is something I LOVE so much – it’s really just the best!  He doesn’t like his feet to be rubbed, but I do, and he knows it.

My husband’s “gift” is serving, and people that know him soon realize it.  He doesn’t serve to be served.  He doesn’t wait to be told.  And he doesn’t demand or expect accolades.  And those types of people often are overlooked, stepped on, and their services abused.  

I’ve even done it, in our marriage.  I’m not inclined to serve near as much as he is, so I have to purpose to take note, give thanks, and bless him for who he is.  I have to PURPOSE to do those things.

I feel as though I’ve written about his sweet acts multiple times, but it takes multiple times of purposing to take note of his actions.

Being married to a servant-type, we non-servant types can easily slip into expectation and not even realize it.  We can even let our own responsibilities go, knowing he will take up the slack.  And we can even treat him with disdain at times, because he’s serving others and not shining in the spotlight.

That one particular day I did take note and I smiled.  He serves me so well, way too well for what I deserve, especially when I’m tired and irritable. 

If I’m being honest, I’m glad he doesn’t like his feet to be rubbed, because I don’t want to rub them.  I can carry my own chair, but he always wants me to have a lighter load, and that’s okay with me!  I can be quite self-centered when I’m in a mood…and he knows it.  I know it, too. 

He knows my strengths and weaknesses, and I know his.  Being married seems to bring out the parts of each other that we don’t like…and we highlight them. And if we’re not careful, we will forget the strengths because the weaknesses get under our skin so badly…until…

We see those kind acts he’s giving, we notice his sweet tenderness with our children, or we observe his organization skills in the garage…or whatever it is that makes him tick.  And when we see his strengths, when we give thanks for those deeds, and when we pray for (not just dismiss) his weaknesses, somehow the lens through which we look becomes a little cleaner and we see a bit farther.

Just now, as we’re pulling into a parking spot for another rest, he turns and looks at me to ask,

 

“Are you out of the sun?”

 

And I say, “Yes, thank you.”

VERBALIZE YOUR THANKS.  DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT OUR OTHER MARRIAGE STORIES.
Yes, Thank You
by Marcy Lytle

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