ROOTED IN LOVE ◽ ENCOURAGEMENT
“ Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight.” Psalm 19:14 KJV
Something I’ve been convicted of so many times as a mother is talking negatively about myself in front of my kids, especially my daughter. Because how can I teach kindness if I’m not kind to myself, and how can I teach confidence if I don’t have any?
To tell you the truth, confidence has always been a struggle for me. Even as a teenager and in my twenties, self-esteem wasn’t something I had a whole lot of. I’ve always been the first to criticize or tear myself down. Only over the past few years have I been able to look in the mirror and see the beauty there, rather than just the flaws. I still struggle with that, but I’m working on it. I’m learning to see myself through the eyes of my Creator, which isn’t always easy.
A lot of times, I verbally berate myself over silly things. Forgetting something at the store that I needed to make dinner. Leaving the garlic bread in the oven too long and letting it get black. Saying something awkward or embarrassing that I wish I hadn’t said. You know, it’s okay to recognize my mistakes and learn from them, but there’s a fine line between doing that and beating myself up over little things. Unfortunately, I tend to lean toward the latter.
But I’m really working on being careful of the way I speak about myself in front of my daughter, because the way I treat myself is the biggest example she has of how she’s supposed to treat herself. I want her to grow up knowing who she is and having confidence in that. I don’t want her thinking or speaking negatively about herself or doubting her beauty. So if I want those things for her, I first need to work on them for myself.
If I want my daughter to see herself in a positive light, it helps for her to see me in a positive light. Which means I need to be able to see myself that way, too. If I want her to be confident, then I need to exhibit confidence. It’s so glaringly obvious that I’m a leader and role model for her in this area, yet it’s so hard to get it right.
Thankfully, I don’t have to be perfect all the time. There’s room for errors, and those are the moments we use to learn. Those are the opportunities to talk about kindness and forgiveness and beauty and love. Those are the moments when we can open our Bibles together and talk about the way God sees us.
I’m human, and I’m not perfect. I don’t want my daughter to think that I am. I just want her to see me as a beautiful, treasured, adored daughter of God. And I want her to see herself that way too. So it starts with me seeing myself that way, and I’m working on it day by day.