LIFE RIGHT NOW ◽ YOU
“Just put one word on the page,” I tell myself.
The dreaded writer’s block is back or, in this case, it is more like I’m saying, “There is too much going on in my mind concerning several things that I can’t form a single sentence!”
I was staring at that blinking cursor on the blank page for a while, but before I gave up I finally just typed the one thing that I had repeated to myself a couple of times. Lo and behold, it was more than one word! And it sparked the rest of this article.
Sometimes, I would rather do anything else but sit down and write my thoughts out for other people to read because why would anyone care to read about my life or my thoughts? I feel like I have so little to offer, little to no wisdom to impart. But then I am reminded that if by some chance something I write makes at least one person feel like they are not alone or helps them know that God loves them, then that is enough to keep me writing.
I will not bog you down with all of my thoughts, as that wouldn’t be good for anyone. I will share only three that are taking up a decent amount of my thoughts as of late:
First, there’s the fact that I will be 33 this month. Another birthday usually brings up thoughts of the previous year and expectancy for the next year and that is definitely true of this birthday, despite everything going on right now. What happened during my 32nd year of life? Not much, but at the same time a whole lot. I feel like I stayed in my comfort zone too much. Granted, half of my 32nd year was during a pandemic, under quarantine, practically no one was allowed to leave their comfort zone…but I still could have prayed to God for direction for what He would have me do to help others. I hardly did.
Also, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time worrying about things that I should give over to God. One of the main thoughts is my dream of having a family of my own one day. It is just so hard to let go of that dream because it has been so important to me for so long, but if it is that important to me, then I know that it is that much more important to God. I would rather serve God as a single woman, than enter into something that is not God’s will for my life. If have learned anything in this past year (or for that matter, in my nearly 33 years of life) it is that God is so faithful. Even when my faith is waning or weak; He remains faithful. Even if I don’t see His faithfulness, He is still faithful.
2 Timothy 2:13 says,
“If we are faithless, He remains faithful – for He cannot deny Himself.”
Second, there’s the fact that I bought airline tickets for a trip to Boston next month with a few of my friends. If this trip does not get cancelled, postponed, or I don’t get sick, then this will be the 5th year in a row that I will be blessed to witness the glorious New England fall. Unlike years past, the main reason for going to Boston has sadly been canceled due to Covid. To sum up, we have held an annual fall market at a church up in Norwood, Mass. for the past four years. It is called Market of Hope, a non-profit organization that two of my friends started. You might be wondering, If the market got cancelled due to the virus then how has the trip not gotten cancelled? For one, our wonderful volunteers from the church are among the most vulnerable. If I had to guess they are almost all over the age of 65. Two, a flash of optimism took over two months ago when round trip air fare was around $100! I’m fully aware that things can most certainly change. As I am writing this, strict travel bans are everywhere including one of our trip destinations. I’m trying to stay optimistic about still getting to go. My friend Katy that’s coming has never been able to go over the past years, and I can’t wait to show her all our favorite things. I also have a strong feeling that we will all be ready for a getaway in order to rest from our busy, sometimes stressful schedules. At the same time, I am trying not to get my hopes up.
Third and final, is the fact that I will be reporting back to my elementary campus for face-to-face teaching this month. The beginning of the school year began virtually for the first three weeks. Instead of sharing some of my thoughts, fears, or opinions on the matter of schools opening for in-person teaching and what that might look like this year, I would love to pray over this school year instead:
Lord, the first thing I want to do is lay this school year down at your feet. This burden is too heavy for any of us to carry. I ask that you be near to us. Near to the brokenhearted, near to every student, every teacher, every parent, every staff member, every decision maker. I ask that you protect everyone whether at school or at home. Protect the most vulnerable, whether it be those with compromised immune systems or those students living in unsafe homes. Father God, give us peace that surpasses all understanding, give us endurance for this year, and give us patience, grace, creativity. Be our provider, our healer, our friend. I pray for those that are afraid or hurting, may they feel Your perfect love. I praise You in advance for all of the answered prayers and testimonies that will come out of this school year. In Your name, I pray!
“You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our Savior,
You are the hope of everyone on Earth.”