MOVING FORWARD â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
Photo courtesy of Doug Gephardt
Like my mother, I'm a planner. I'm the person you can count on to request the days off well in advance, plan the route, and make all of the hotel reservations. I don't like flying by the seat of my pants or leaving things to chance, because I've had to pay in past situations when I didn't plan. I usually like to move forward with a pretty good idea of what to expect.
But, as I'm sure you know, life doesn't always turn out like that. I can't even count the number of surprises I've lives through in just the past few years. And, while I'm glad life hasn't been stagnant and I've appreciated the opportunities to grow, there are some things I don't ever want to go through again.
It really isn't just the situations themselves that I'm so dreading repeating; it's the person I believed myself to be in those times. I don't want to feel like a shameful, utter failure again. I don't want
to lose myself or my hope. And I only recently have realized, in certain areas of my life, how terrified I now am to move forward.
Not long ago, I was pouring all of these things out to God. The monsoon of tears surprised me. I didn't sense anything but him sitting with me, but even though I wasn't aware of him responding, I felt lighter from leaving my pain with him. I hadn't been aware of the burden I had been carrying. It wasn't until later in the day that an incredible thought occurred to me: What if I could be victorious in my next situation, no matter what happens? What if none of my shortcomings, disappointments in others, or inability to control my circumstances could ever force me to repeat my past? What if power is available to me that will make me proud of who I am, even if all of my worst fears come true?
What an exhilarating thought!
And the more I think on Romans 8:28-29, the more convinced I am that God showed me my freedom from fear of the future. Because nothing that lies ahead of me will ever be able to make me less than what God is making me into - a much-loved, overcoming daughter of the King of Life. Yes, there will be trouble in this imperfect world, but I will never again be enslaved by shame and hopelessness because love and hope live inside of me, and they are being renewed in me every single day. And there isn't a single situation that can do anything to stop it.
God whispered my freedom from fear into my ear that day. It is nothing more (or less) than a mindset, a decision, a choice to believe what I say I already believe. I intend to walk into my future grasping that belief, tightly. No matter what.