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MARRIAGE - apr 2024 - for better or worse - speaking his language.jpg

Everyone knows that marriage is a partnership. It’s teamwork. It’s doing things for each other and helping each other out. It’s sacrificing your own time, energy and comfort to make your spouse’s life easier. But I have to be honest. Sometimes I get a bad attitude about that.


I get annoyed sometimes when my husband asks me for help or asks me to do something for him. My thoughts are somewhere along the lines of: “I just cooked dinner and did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Get it yourself.” Sound familiar? I’m guessing we’ve all been there at some point. Don’t worry. You don’t have to raise your hands or anything.


Lately, though, when I’ve had that attitude, I’ve felt pretty convicted about it. I saw something online about love languages, and it made me realize that I’m not being very loving. I was also reminded that one of my husband’s love languages is acts of service. So when I help him with something or do something for him, it makes him feel loved.

Ouch. How can I be grumpy about showing love to my husband? An attitude adjustment is exactly what I needed in this area.


Just because he can do something on his own doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be willing to help. I can sacrifice a few extra seconds of my time in order to show my husband that I love him. Because that’s all it really is – an outward expression of the fact that I care for him. But it’s not very caring if I do it with a bad attitude or muttering under my breath. Again, I won’t ask for a show of hands of who’s been there, but I know it’s pretty common.


Maybe this specific area isn’t a challenge for you, or maybe your spouse’s love language isn’t acts of service. Whatever it may be, it’s important for us to remember that it’s not about our own comfort or convenience. It’s about loving our husbands in a way that’s meaningful to them. Whatever it is that makes him feel loved, that’s what I should strive to do.


It sounds simple, but somehow it’s very easily messed up. But we all want to feel loved, especially by the person we’ve chosen to share our life with. As the saying goes, giving is better than receiving, and I’ve definitely found that to be true. Showing love to my husband – in whatever shape or form – gives me joy and energy. It feels good to be kind and loving.


Maybe you’re shaking your head saying duh. Or maybe you can relate because you’ve felt the same way. Either way, I hope we can stop and consider how our words and actions make our husbands feel. It’s good to evaluate ourselves every now and then because there’s always room for more love.

Speaking His Language
by Kaelin Scott
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