UNPREPARED - ENCOURAGEMENT
The Mirror
by Marcy Lytle
This is the third in the series of “Unprepared” - a new column this year on all the things I wasn’t ready for, no one really warned me about, and I wish I’d had a handbook to help me through! This month I tackle those body changes.
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Let me start by saying how appalled I am at the girls on social media that talk about signs of aging and how they’re getting so “old” when they’re in their 30’s. They’re using all the creams and potions to stave off the signs of aging but let me tell us all…aging is going to happen anyway.
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I remember looking at a back view of myself in the mirror one day, possibly in my late 40’s, and caught a glimpse of the back of my arms. They looked like my mom’s arms, and I gasped! That alone later made me sad, because what’s so bad about having my mom’s arms? I thought it was the worst! They looked old, and old was bad, wasn’t it?
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​My sister had told me she had started wearing this body shaper she loved in her 40’s and I was drawn to try it, because let’s face it – gravity pulls - once aging sets in. And anything that lifts and tucks, well I’m here for it.
As for wrinkles, I tried this very expensive eye cream because I was sucked into this relentless sales pitch by the most annoying of sales people, while we were on vacation. Can you believe it?
He convinced me that this cream would change my life, and I used it faithfully for a year. Was there a change? I have no idea! I didn’t take a before and after picture, and I didn’t have time to check the crow’s feet daily to see! In fact, most before and after pictures I’d seen on line didn’t really look that different! I was so mad that I spent the money.
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Just today, a young mom in her 30’s talked about her aging hands, and how she learned that she needed to use her face creams on her hands, and she showed her hands after four days of use. Not that different!
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Why do we buy into this stuff? Why do we fear the aging process, the gravity, the loose skin, the age spots, the wrinkles, and all the things that appear every single year as we approach our older years? I don’t know, but we do! And when we think we start to look like our moms, we panic. But wait! Didn’t we think our moms were beautiful? I did. I loved my mom’s pretty hands, when she painted her nails and I didn’t notice the ugliness of aging. I saw the beauty of the hands that gave.
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And yet I stood in the mirror and gasped when I saw my mom’s arms on me!
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Here’s the deal:
Age spots are going to become visible
Skin will sag and age, over time
Cellulite will creep all over you like a plague
Wrinkles may appear fast or slow…but they will show up like an unwanted relative
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We will all one day look in the mirror and realize that our bodies are changing rapidly, and we have this choice. Oh, there’s nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves. Of course, we do that! And moisturizers are our friends, wearing a hat in the sun gives us a chance to buy some cute ones. And we most likely won’t be headed out in a bikini, or even sleeveless dresses any more (unless you’re bold, which I so admire the bold).
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One of life’s challenges is looking in the mirror as another decade rolls by and giving thanks for that skin that has covered you your entire life, and will do so until the end. You’ll figure out ways to cope, but you’ll also realize that your focus will be better spent on giving thanks and admiring the miles you’ve walked and breathed and enjoyed the wind and the rain, that yes…show up on your skin.
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There was a time in history where folks didn’t have mirrors, and there was a time when mirrors were small and only used for the head view. Then when full length mirrors appeared, we looked and gazed at all the imperfections and lingered to try and fix them all.
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I certainly haven’t arrived in this area, but I’m not any longer swindled by expensive potions. I don’t love my arms or thighs, or even the wrinkles, but I’ve found fashion to still be enjoyable as I grab for what makes me feel good in the skin I have. And I wish I could tell those of you in your 30’s that you’re not old. And I bet the women I know in their 90’s would say to me, you’re not old, either, my friend…
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Make the mirror your friend as you smile at the pudge, shake your head and dress in what you love, and step into those comfortable shoes and hit the road with confidence in the skin you see looking back at you. And maybe don’t look at the back view, or the bottom view, but instead give a quick glance and a smile and be on your way…