FIRMLY PLANTED ◽ ENCOURAGEMENT
Fear Looms Large
by Dina Cavazos
I like to think I’m not a fearful person: not necessarily brave, but confident in the Lord, living day by day, trusting him to take care of me and those I love. But, if I’m honest, I have to acknowledge I have more fears than I like to admit to.
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I’m afraid of getting old: the fading and falling of physical appearance; the possibility of dementia; losing the ability to take care of myself; the probability of having to leave my home
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I’m afraid of suffering; of the suffering of someone I love; of losing someone I love
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I’m afraid of confrontation; not knowing what to say under pressure; the uncomfortable feeling of being with someone who’s overly assertive and opinionated
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I’m afraid of what will happen to my loved ones at the end of earthly life who don’t know Jesus; what kind of world they’ll face when I’m gone
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Then there are my most unreasonable fears: getting attacked by sharks, and torture
These aren’t debilitating fears by any means, but they occupy space in my thoughts that could be put to better use. Mentally, I know that worrying doesn’t help, doesn’t change a thing. Mentally, I know that aging is a part of life, unavoidable, and I know that my children will do everything they can to help smooth the transition into decline. I know that I have to let go of vanity and accept wrinkles and thinning hair. Mentally, I know that suffering is also part of life and that my greatest times of growth have been in the “garlic press;” but I still ask God: Can you spare them? Please find another way.
Mentally, I know that I don’t need to argue or debate. I know that people have survived horrors through the ages and I have no control over what horrors are to come. Mentally, I know that I will never swim in the ocean, therefore the possibility of a shark attack is zilch, and I highly doubt I will ever be tortured. Mentally knowing is one thing, knowing in the center of my being is another.
There are things I know in the center of my being: Jesus was and is real, he is THE truth, THE life, and THE way. In the center of my being, I know that God is good, he is love, I can trust him. Knowing these truths, why do I fear? In my mind spiritual promises and truths ring out: the blessing of God from generation to generation; he will never leave or forsake me; when I’m weak, he’s strong; God is a refuge and shield; Jesus has overcome the world; human life is temporary as the grass and beauty fades. I believe these words, but they don’t reside in the center of my being, yet. I have to choose to believe them. These words of power and love are promises I hold on to, certainties in the realm of faith that help me overcome fearful thoughts.
Fearful thoughts can loom large, especially in areas that are out of my control, and the unknown future. It’s easy to get carried away, to imagine scenarios that even illicit tears. That’s a sure sign that I need to rein it in. Put a bit in that horse’s mouth and redirect.
This is when I have to touch something real, like dirt. In the garden, the substance of matter in the form of plants, water, earth, surrounds and grounds me. GOD made this. This is reality, at least earthly reality. The intricacies of what lives in my garden is beyond comprehension. A handful of dirt is composed of the tiniest innumerable particles with microscopic organisms and nutrients. This miracle-substance together with water and sunlight produces and sustains huge trees and the smallest leaf. It’s a wonder. Wonder directs my mind and heart to look “above”, rather than to fear and imaginings that lurk like looming shadows.
In the garden, my peaceful, grounding place, I come to my senses. Fear looms larger than the reality. The reality is yes, bad things happen, but God will carry me through. I may imagine a world of chaos and peril in the future, but God has always been and will always be with those who love him. Words are powerful truths to hold on to, but the One who IS the very Word is my hiding place. It is his very Being that drives out fear, and that is why I cling to him.