INNER STRENGTH ◽ YOU
What do you think of slingshots? Nerve-wrecking? Fun? Saturday’s game sure surprised me. I never expected to recognize such growth in my kids, in myself, and in us as a family unit from such a simple game.
Last Saturday, the boys and I had a relaxing day. I’ll admit the Saturday before was kind of hectic. We all needed to play this weekend low key. Matthew and I invented some simple ways to have fun using supplies around the house and then invited Brendan to join when he was ready. (Brendan is like me and needs some quiet downtime for a while first before engaging in family games, especially after a long week).
With an exercise band and two knots, a slingshot was invented. It took a few attempts to get it tight in such a way that it wouldn’t come undone and we could aim it properly. Being the protective mom, I reminded Matthew to assess ahead of time whether or not we were at risk of breaking anything. We worked really well together at problem solving and I was proud of him for listening to my feedback. He used to be hypersensitive to feedback and took it as criticism. I struggled with that myself, which is why that has been part of my healing process over the years. I’ve grown in that area and I’ve seen him grow in that area as well.
We had a lot of fun using three different objects – a mini foam target from his dart game, a stuffed animal, and a tightly wrapped piece of material. We played several different versions - how high, how far, a game of catch, then baseball. Our faces lit up with big smiles, especially when Matthew hit the stuffed animal back using a pillow like a baseball bat. In fact, those smiles turned into subtle laughs too, including Matthew. Then we made a fun game of catch. We experimented with how pulling the band back affected speed and height. Man, did it go fast! It was like we were playing against a fast ball pitcher. Brendan and I were able to catch it and then we adjusted it so that it was easier for Matthew to catch. He didn’t mind the adjustment. In fact, sometimes I adjusted things without him even knowing – part of that protective mom in me.
My boys have been known to have a stubborn streak in them, such as I see in myself. This is another character trait that has molded as they have gotten older. They have learned that having fun means letting go.
I have had my own lesson with letting go. I know part of my brain was always on assessing how it was going, watching my boys’ reactions, taking in my own part, and making sure that the activity was fun and inclusive for all. It used to be even harder than it is now to let some of that go. I decided a long time ago that I value my time with my boys too much to let my worry get in the way of fun memories.
As I replayed that afternoon in my mind, I realized we hadn't just invented games. We had practiced listening, adjusting, encouraging one another, laughing and celebrating. We literally let go in more ways than one! A simple game of slingshot showed how our inner strength had grown, especially our humility. We released our stubbornness, became more open to feedback, listened to one another (especially through the problem solving process) and let others take the lead.
So two main takeaways I hope you get from my story are:
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find joy not only in the present, but also when you reflect, and …
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we all have lessons to learn and areas to grow in - and it’s healthy to admit that.
You are not alone.
So have fun! If I can do this, so can you!