PRACTICAL PARENTING â—½ HOME
Gifts
by Marcy Lytle
I have heard parents say, and I remember feeling this way as well, that they have to clean out the kids’ rooms and closets before taking in any more gifts! So one of the goals before Christmas is to donate used toys and make room for the new. And while that’s awesome, I know it’s still sometimes frustrating to know just how many gifts a kid needs at Christmas, which gifts to buy, and then it’s even more aggravating when the kids don’t even like the gifts they get!
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One response to gift frustration is to only give one toy, one book, one clothing item, etc. to somehow minimize and make more meaningful the gift-giving time. And that’s an idea that works for some families, limiting all the excess, and focusing on the necessities.
One response to gift frustration is to yell at the kids and exhibit frustration when the gifts are torn into, offering thanks isn’t happening, and you’re alarmed at the little pieces in that toy that you’re going to have to deal with. There’s no organization, all is chaos, and Christmas can’t be over fast enough.
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One response to gift frustration is to throw our hands up and wonder how we’re going to pay for all these things, but we want our kids to have more, the latest, and the greatest, and so we just spend and hope we can afford it all. And we find some sort of joy in wrapping all these things.
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One response to gift frustration is to feel less than, get angry, and carry disappointment throughout the holidays because there’s never enough funds for anything in the family, and Christmas just emphasizes the lack, and it’s not fun at all.
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There are lots of responses parents can have to all the gifts that our kids get or don’t get, from us and from grandparents. And it can be maddening to fill kids’ rooms again with more “stuff” or to see the emptiness of rooms when there’s a year of lack.
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So, what’s the best way to respond to gift giving and receiving at Christmas?
Whatever brings you peace and joy, in your family.
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If the kids make a list, let them! Just have a talk about the blessing of Christmas and how gifts – any gifts – are always a bonus.
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If the kids already have too much, instruct them! Just have a talk about how awesome it would be to share the bounty with others, and ask them to make a donation box and fill it. Pray that joy ensues.
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If funds are scarce this year, pray together. Just have a talk about seasons and times, and give thanks for what you do have, and brainstorm creative giving this year – like making something, writing a poem, serving one another, sharing a verse, etc.
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If you’ve already shown frustration and yelled, ask forgiveness. Sit quietly and still your own heart, and reassemble your thoughts and breathe, and take one day at a time. And pray over each gift you buy, and let it go – expecting any sort of special thanks or reaction from the kids.
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If you feel this need to buy more and have the best, look deep. Rethink what Christmas means, and make a list and stick to it. Sure, indulge a bit if you want. But don’t let the need to have more be your identity this Christmas. Look to the wonder of the season, and enjoy the meaningful gifts you share.
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It’s hard – Christmastime. But it doesn’t have to be. Gift receiving doesn’t need to be the central theme of the season. Yes, it’s wonderful, but even more wonderful is the GIFT in Jesus.
Donate.
Share kindness to neighbors.
Go see the lights.
Enjoy cookies and hot cider.
Celebrate advent.
And when all of that leads up to Christmas morning, whatever takes place under the tree will just be like the stars that glitter on a clear cold night – fun to see emerge one by one – as we sing “O holy night…” together with grateful hearts.