AN ADAGE A DAY- ENCOURAGEMENT
I Love You More
By Carole Gilbert
We’ve all searched for ways to express our deep love to someone. We love from the bottom of our hearts. And sometimes we use the phrase, “I love you more.”
This phrase does not have a known origin but does have ties to a French poem from the mid-19th-century and was also made an everyday phrase between adults and children from a 1994 book titled, Guess How Much I Love You. It tells the person involved that they are loved, “to the moon and back.” It’s like stretching our arms as far apart as possible to show the distance as we exclaim “I love you this much!”
This popular quote came to my mind after reading a very sentimental letter my son wrote because of one afternoon with their autistic son, Graham. This is only part of his letter.
It only took one afternoon for our entire world to spin, tumble, and turn inside out — a reminder of why our days feel long, why our energy is stretched thin, and why love sometimes looks like endurance more than anything else.
​
Dinner became a hunt — chasing him down with a meal we knew he needed but he couldn’t slow down long enough to eat.
Our own bed was stripped of sheets and comforter because he loves to wrap himself up in them and burrow underneath like a little caterpillar.
Courtesy of Allison Gilbert
And between every episode was the soundtrack of our home: loud, uninhibited screaming. Not from pain. Not from fear. Simply from being Graham — intensely expressive and always at full volume.
And all of this— every single moment — happened in just one afternoon. In fact, it happened today.
This is why we are exhausted.
This is why holidays feel overwhelming.
Why traveling is hard.
Why friendships can be complicated.
Why it’s difficult on his two younger sisters.
But this is also our life — and we love it.
We wouldn’t trade any of it, not for a quieter home or an easier path. We love Graham, we love our girls, and we love the beautiful chaos that makes our family ours.
Our life may look different than yours, but we are far from alone. So many families live in these spaces of unpredictability — some with heavier challenges, some with lighter ones — all carrying their own invisible weight and navigating a world that doesn’t always understand.
And still, like us, they keep going.
​
Because love — real love — is loud, messy, exhausting, overwhelming, and absolutely worth it. And we know that long lasting love only comes from Christ. Our cup overflows because Christ keeps filling it. He fills it with his grace, his mercy, and his love. Psalm 23:5.
He ends with…
Our lives are not our own.
“For none of us lives to himself and none of us dies to himself.
For if we live, we live to the Lord. And if we die, we die to the Lord.
So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”
Romans 14:7-8.
Graham does say, “I love you.” But even after such a difficult day, I know my son’s thoughts are screaming “I love you more” to his son. These are words we often take for granted. And I have to include here about another who must’ve been doing the same, screaming inside, “I love you more!” We know He was screaming with all His heart, body, soul, and mind. It’s our Jesus. And no matter what we do, or how we act, He shows us again and again, “I love you more.” This is why we should live to the Lord.
This month is about Valentine's Day. As we remember those we love, we can think about others around us that we can show love to, whether they seem to understand it or not, like our Graham. And we can be sure to tell them, “I love you more.” And then tell them about Jesus and how He loves us all more.