INNER STRENGTH â—½ YOU
My son Matthew says his grateful prayers in his head. Brendan starts our prayer time by saying what he’s grateful for out loud. Where and when do you share what you’re grateful for?
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There is a lot of content from social media, church, television, even the stores, surrounding the significance of being grateful. Keep a grateful journal, begin your day saying three things you’re grateful for…I could name more. The point is, despite all this advice, I’ve discovered a perspective that offers less pressure of one more thing we “should” do and simplifies life. I share it so you may add it to your own personal toolkit and hopefully feel less pressure yourself, even if it is just for brief moment
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It is impossible to be grateful and suffer at the same time. I can’t remember where I heard this said first, and suffer is a strong word. It almost seems unbalanced with the word grateful. That got me thinking. When was the last time I embraced being grateful so deeply that it gave me a sigh of relief or even a smile? I have often thanked God for “this day.” I’ve thought to myself that I’m grateful that I have bed on which to lay (I’m dealing with lack of permanent housing).I’m thankful for my boys. I’m thankful I have people in my life that care about me. These are some examples. Even as I write these down though, they are just words. Until I let that gratitude into my heart, I’m still carrying sadness with it.
I know I’ve had deep moments of sadness where it hurt so much that I couldn’t say thank you. And I’m still pondering the idea of deep sadness and suffering. But right now I’m happy to share a couple examples of not just saying what I’m grateful for but actually feeling it.
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Recently, my rheumatoid arthritis flared up and my knee joint and elbow joint lost some range of motion, I experienced pain everywhere, extreme fatigue, and to top it all off - sinus congestion. So, clearly I needed rest. I then had the opportunity to rest A LOT over a 48 hour period. I woke up from a nap and realized that I actually felt less congested and felt a little better overall. I took more than a second to embrace that feeling of the benefits of rest and my true gratitude actually brought some relief and a gentle smile to my face.
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Another example includes by boys, of course. My son Brendan hasn’t always had much of a sense of humor. Most of that has to do with his much needed help with social skills due to his autism. However, now at 13, he has developed a strong sarcastic sense of humor (which runs on my dad’s side of the family, actually.) While he likes to have me be the target of his humor when we’re together, he truly is funny and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that humor has come alive in him. This makes our time together even more fun!
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There were years when Brendan’s attempt to be silly were annoying to his younger brother. I appreciated his attempt, but yes, I could see where it would be hard for Matthew to understand that. Now that it’s very clear, the three of us, for the first time, can blend our senses of humor together.
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My friends will ask, “How was your visit with your boys?” I’ll say “Great!” They then ask what we did. My great is now more sincere, because I’m letting my heart actually feel the appreciation of Brendan’s humor, for example. I had a one-liner for a while. My response used to be, “It’s always great to see my boys.” My heart wasn’t feeling the sense of gratitude necessarily though, as I’d say that. It was feeling sadness from having to say bye to them so quickly.
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So the next time you hear a message around gratitude, I hope you will let your heart feel it. Go at your own pace. I hope you find what I did that you cannot suffer and be grateful at the same time.
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If I can do it, so can you!