A DAY I N THE LIFE â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
A Game Changer
by Bekah Holland
Did you know there are options out there other than Introverts and Extroverts? The latest and greatest (I mean, subjective, obviously) is the Ambivert, which follows the Omnivert “discovery.”
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So here’s the cliff’s notes version:
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Introverts tend to be more introspective, feel best when they’re alone or in calm, quiet spaces and being exposed to loud and/or excessive social interaction is draining.
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Extroverts usually thrive in social settings, are energized by being around others and are generally outgoing, active and sociable.
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Ambiverts are people whose overall behavior is a happy in-between spot of introversion and extroversion. My guess is most people would call this balanced.
As someone who is rarely balanced, I’m just going to have to take their word on it because I have no clue. BUT, drumroll please…now, enters the Omnivert! This is somebody who can be either at different times. Signal angels singing!
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These possibilities were a mind-blowing discovery for someone like me. As a teenager and into my 20’s, I thought I was an extrovert because I was excited and energized around people I knew, made friends pretty easily and even loved a good night out dancing in crowded places.
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These were also days in which I could wear three-inch stilettos for hours and not bat an eye, so it’s also possible I was a psychopath. Po-tA-to – Po-ta-to. Then came having babies, moving to small towns without taller-than-my-knees human contact, moving again, and again, sleepless decades, life doesn’t ever-stop I’m so over everything years, and I thought, Maybe I’m actually an introvert.
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I didn’t even think I liked people anymore. Sometimes, I still don’t. But that’s a lie because I’m a relentless optimist and very rarely don’t try to justify someone’s behavior even when it hurts me, because I’m a people pleaser and have an unhealthy desire to make sure everyone likes me. Yes, I know I’m a walking contradiction, and yes, I am simultaneously a therapist’s unicorn patient and their worst nightmare. Side note – you can’t tip a therapist because you know you are exhausting. I know this because I’ve asked…more than once.
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Therefore, I obviously don’t tend to fit nicely in either of the original categories, although I excel at forcing myself into any given box because people pleasers are extra special. But when I learned about this new, fancy box, labeled “Omnivert” I felt like maybe, just maybe, there was a Bekah-shaped box that fit me instead of the other way around. This is likely not something that a normal human obsesses over and I know this. However, I can’t even fake normal very often and my ADHD has the super fun benefit of making me hyper-focused on completely unimportant details, allowing me to procrastinate in epic fashion. Pray for my husband, y’all. Bless his sweet, task oriented, organized heart.
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Why does this matter? Well, I mean, I guess it doesn’t really. However, to someone who always feels a little out of place – who is too much and not enough at the same time - this silly, inconsequential label is a game changer for me. I now have language to describe how I fit into this big, crazy world. It’s not all encompassing. It’s not WHO I am, but it’s HOW I am, and for some reason, that matters.
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No label, status, or diagnosis defines us, but it can give us a little insight into our individual whys. Why we feel the way we do, or maybe what recharges our almost always-running-on-empty internal batteries. I’m very aware that this is a “pot…this is kettle” kind of thing I’m about to say, but for those of us who are the doers and knowers of all the things, we need to find whatever our personal oxygen mask is and put it on our dang faces! In case you aren’t aware, I’m not calling you out. I’m basically just calling myself out because therapy is expensive and this is a nice fill-in so I don’t have to see mine six times a week. Be better than me. And I’ll make you a promise…I’ll work at being a better me, too.
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We all deserve to feel understood, not just by others, but feel like we understand ourselves a little, too. We deserve a break, whether that looks like brunch with a group of friends, a walk with the bestie, or a cozy closet hiding spot where we can escape all the noise of life…or a combination of breaks. Even God took an entire day of the week to rest! He gave us a roadmap and led by example. These breaks of ours, they don’t have to make sense to anyone but us, and we don’t have to justify taking time to re-center, find solace or fill our own cups with the things that bring us joy.
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In my little corner of the world, this month brings us bright green growth, more sunshine, bluer skies and the smell of jasmine blooming. It holds a sense of hope and new beginnings. No matter what it looks like where you are, choose your fresh start, find what brings you joy, and be intentional in caring for yourself half as much as you care for everyone around you. It will, without a doubt, be worth it. Because we are worth it all.
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“I will always search for the ray of sunshine, the lone wildflower, the singing birds,
the brightest star, and every other little piece of hope.”
CM Witter