UNDPREPARED â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
Those Gray Strands
by Marcy Lytle
If you’re just joining, I started last month to write a series of things in life I was totally taken aback by, because I hadn’t noticed or observed, or been told or warned. And then I just felt unprepared and unlearned, and so sad and alone in the new phase that suddenly appeared in my life. I hope you’ll comment with your thoughts, no matter the age you are when you read!
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I think every woman gets that first gray hair at such varying ages! I had friends that had gray hair appear on the scene in their 20s and other friends that still have very few, well into their 60’s! And while gray hair can be beautiful and a sign of wisdom (that’s a verse in the bible somewhere), it’s also alarming when you’re not expecting it. That first gray hair almost speaks as if to say, “I’m coming for you!”
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It was no problem for me, those first appearances, because I just used hair color – the boxed version – to cover the gray. For a while I went a bit darker, which made me feel a bit more mysterious and elegant. Then later, I decided to go somewhat blonde because, after all, my husband and kids were blondes. And I had been a blonde when I was young. However, over time I grew weary of constantly keeping up with the hair color sessions, and the smell of the solution began to bother me.
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​Another transformation for me was hair length. About the same time I grew tired of keeping up with coloring my hair, I thought about growing out my hair.
I had short hair for decades, but I noticed something “soft” in the look of long hair…particularly gray hair. I wanted to look softer. My short hair served me well as I had been young and full of sass and pride. But I really thought about how I wanted to age…gracefully. So, I grew out my hair…about the same time I stopped coloring it!
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And I just really didn’t know that gray hair, at least on my head, was a different texture altogether! And there are so many shades of gray, all of which one never knows which shade will emerge from your personal roots! Mousy? Silver? Whitish? What would it be? And did I have the stamina and fortitude it would take to really let the gray emerge and take over my entire look?
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I stopped trimming and let the gray palette soon become my hair color of choice. It too was a long process, but not as long as menopause was (see February 2026 article in the archives). And while my hair was turning gray, I had all sorts of thoughts to contend with. Am I going to age myself another 10 years? How will I style this new look? I wonder if the new hair color will change my complexion?
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I’ve been totally gray a few years now, and I personally have loved the freedom that having gray hair has offered me. First of all, no more buying those boxes and coloring my hair and taking half the morning to do so. That’s a bonus for sure! I’ve embraced what I feel was inevitable, and that feels liberating. And I’ve found that the different texture gets some getting used to, but it feels like me, now.
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What I haven’t liked is that along with the gray, my hair also thinned out! Remember, I said I lost hair during the menopause years? Well, in my 60’s I lost some more! I saw thin areas that I had remembered seeing on my own mother’s head. I always wondered why she pulled it back with a barrette, and now I know!
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with coloring one’s hair, until the end of life, if one wants to! That’s the key – do what suits you! I just grew tired of the process and as my hair grew out, it felt good to be this new version of the softer me. It was weird to me how my hair went along with my persona, as I aged. Gray hair, in society, used to be so frowned upon. But I feel like we live in the time where being one’s true self is cool, even encouraged. I even see young girls going gray on purpose!
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The last thing I am reminded of is how God does care for us when our hair decides to turn gray. Proverbs even says gray hair is a crown of glory! Wow.
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I remember sitting in our new church a few years ago, when we first attended, and I noticed several women in front of me with really white and gorgeous hair. I thought. “Wow, it’s pretty but they’re old.” And then I realized that those women were the kindest people that had spoken to me each time we visited. They were friendly, had the prettiest smile, and seemed genuine to the heart. That made me smile, and rethink my assessment of the snow white or gray or mousy hair on our heads.
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If I can gain wisdom, wear a crown of glory (what does that even mean?) and emerge with that fruit of the Spirit called gentleness and mercy as I age, then I say so be it!
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(Gray hair seems to require more moisture, it longs to be brushed, and it’s fun to dare to embrace!)