AFTER 40 YEARS ◽ MARRIAGE
One of the Best
by Marcy Lytle
One of my favorite photos I have on my phone of Jon is this one pictured here. Let me tell you the setting.
It was summer, there was music in the park in our community’s local area, and we enjoyed attending so much. Often, we would meet friends, bring our lawn chairs, find a shady spot, and park ourselves for a couple of hours to listen to whatever band was playing that night. This park in our small town was one of our favorites, in that it has huge trees, and it just has an “old feel” like maybe a park you might find down the street from Andy Taylor’s house in Mayberry.
Usually, we brought snacks and drinks, because there weren’t often a lot of food trucks. But on this particular night, there was a food truck. Jon decided to walk over and see what it was and as he started to return, I caught sight of him, popcorn in hand. Now, that popcorn wasn’t for him…it was for me. And that smile on his face was priceless. He was totally thrilled to present me with my favorite snack and so excited to bring it to me. I’m so glad I caught his expression in this photo.
All I have now is photos, memories and deep seated heart lessons I learned from living with Jon. He was a servant by nature. It was his love language, since the time I first met him. His first gift to me was a set of wooden coasters tucked inside a small wooden piano. I played the piano when we met and sang, and it was his gesture of acknowledging something he loved about me. That’s just who he was, and it was not who I was.
Many times in our early years of marriage, I sometimes despised his servant heart, because he lingered to help others and made us late getting home. Or he’d volunteer to help out when we really didn’t have the time to do so. And over the years, he learned a nice balance to serving others and serving his family…but always serving. And the cool thing about it was…he didn’t stop to think if he should do it or not, if it would make him look good to do it, or if it would benefit him somehow. He was born with serving hands for others.
When he arrived at my chair with popcorn in hand (and a snow cone, I might add), there would have been a time when I may have reacted with, “You know I just ate dinner…that’s too much.” Or I may have asked, “What did you get? It’s too late for me to eat that much.” Or some other response that would be less than thankful.
Jon served, and kept serving, all of our married life…whether I reacted kindly or not. And the longer we were married, the more I noticed how he did the right thing without even thinking. Back when newspapers were a common delivery for most households, if we drove up to my brother’s house and the paper was near the street – Jon picked it up and tossed it on the porch. I, on the other hand, didn’t even notice the paper. And had I noticed? I would have thought, My brother can get it himself. Honest truth.
I’d give anything to see that smile again at the summer music in the park events. It’s just pure and simple giving without expecting a thing in return. One of the best attributes a spouse can bring to a marriage.
Gosh, I miss him. And gosh, I’m thankful for photos.