I DON'T DO TEENAGERS ◽ HOME
For some reason, moms (and sometimes dads) tear up at all the graduations. Graduation from kindergarten is a tear jerker, for sure. And when she starts middle school and all of a sudden she really looks like the teen she is now becoming, it’s astounding! And then there’s that transition from middle school to high school, when parents know their time with their kids is now on its last lap. And we all know that time flies…
It’s the middle of summer and soon school will be starting up again, and maybe you have a child that’s making that transition to the next level, and you’re having all the feelings, and some of them are too heavy to carry. And though you know that all of life is full of one transition after another, whether we like it or not, this year one of your babies now entering the unknown world of older campuses, more temptation and oh yes…the opposite sex…it’s just too much!
It seems that lists seem to work for moms/dads/teens as transitions are made. A checkoff list of sorts for both parent and child (almost adult) that might make the transition a less dreadful one:
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Pray. Every list should start with prayer. Ask your teens what they’re anticipating and any anxieties they have, and write them down. Pray together and give them to the Lord. Reaffirm the goodness of the Lord and read Psalm 23, and Proverbs 3:5.
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Be informed. Visit the school. Find out the dress policies (Yes, I flubbed up on this one when my son went to high school! His shirt was too long!) Ask about lunches. Make your teen as comfortable as possible in a practical way.
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Enjoy the summer. Be sure to spend time with these transitioning teens, even one on one dates out for ice cream, shopping, movies, anything they want to do. And invite friends as well, to a few of these hangouts.
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Talk about food and sleep. Start now in the summer and talk about meal plans, healthy choices, and wisdom in both. Extend to your teens some choices to make a plan for their eating and sleeping habits, and ask them and talk to them about the benefits of good habits in these areas.
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Consider counsel. Is your teen in a youth group? Have you met the school counselor yet? Does your teen talk freely with you or another adult about their problems? Encourage your teen to open up and know their resources, should they need them, when the new school seems hard, or friends seem impossible to make.
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Boost confidence. Remind your teen that they are who they are with a purpose and a plan, and that they are loved just as they are. So what if they don’t wear the latest trend, or if they’re not agile like that athlete, or they just don’t feel like they fit in. Teach them to hold their heads high and trust that who they are will be enough. And God will make their path light up as they walk with Him.
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Talk about temptation. There will be more temptation to enter into unclean talk, to look at the opposite sex or talk in an inappropriate manner, to get involved in unsafe habits like drugs and alcohol. Teens need to be aware, but not scared. Be informed, but not alarmed. Tell them that you are always available to talk, pray, and lead them…and let them grow up as they make good choices and communicate with you.
Finally, after you’ve done all the things, rest. It’s not easy making these transitions that might include the time for getting a driver’s license, or your son asking to go on a date, or she may want to dress in something that’s not appropriate. Don’t panic. You lived through your teen years, and you learned some things. You have a heavenly Father that cares about your teens more than you do. Entrust them to Him, and ask Him to hold your hand too, as you cross into the unknown with the One who knows it all.