AFTER 40 YEARS ◽ MARRIAGE
Coffee? Not Me!
by Marcy Lytle
I’d give anything to join Jon in his favorite place…a coffee shop…once more. Every outing we enjoyed included a stop at a coffee shop, whether we were alone, or with the kids, or with friends. And while I don’t like coffee at all, I do love the smell of it.
I remember back when I spent a good amount to buy Jon a Breville coffee maker that grinds the beans and brews the coffee. I think that might be the one item in our house he was the most attached to, enjoyed every day, and the best gift maybe he’d ever received. The pure pleasure of setting the time, loading the beans in the top, and then awakening to a fresh cup before he left for work. I didn’t understand that joy one bit. A coffee pot as a gift? Not for me.
I still have boxes in my garage full of coffee mugs, which Jon collected. And then he had at least a dozen in the kitchen cabinet above his coffeemaker that were his favorites. He almost always chose a coffee mug as a souvenir on our vacations, so that he’d be reminded of where we’d gone, when he got home. He loved picking one out at all of the cute coffee shops we frequented across the nation…yes…the nation! A coffee cup as my souvenir? Never, for me.
One year I gave Jon a subscription to Atlas Coffee Club. He kept that subscription until the day he left this earth. He loved getting the little box in the mail and then reading the enclosed card as to where the coffee was brewed, and the flavor of the month. He had special canisters and mixing bowls, where he often poured in de-caf along with caffeinated beans, so he’d have the perfect mix. It was quite the ordeal, and I watched him do this with pleasure, often. A coffee club subscription for me? No, thanks.
I remember we found the cutest elbow length t-shirt in a coffee shop in San Diego and Jon wore it so much. He absolutely loved anything coffee related when it came to gifts. And the kids knew it. I knew it. Everyone that knew Jon knew it.
And everyone that knows me knows that I despise it.
But that’s the beauty of marriage, I think. It used to bother me when my family all wanted to find the coffee shops first on vacation, and it took time and effort, and then they wanted to sit and sip. I wanted to do something else! But as I grew up and observed and learned to love this man that loved coffee, I learned to admire his simple pleasure and I too found pleasure in the enjoyment he experienced.
I’m thinking maybe Jon is a barista in heaven, or maybe he’s harvesting beans somewhere, designing a whole new flavor for all…dark roast for sure. That thought makes me smile.
God made us both so uniquely different and sometimes those differences formed a wedge…until they didn’t anymore…and instead formed a bond.
I’d given anything to join Jon in his favorite place…a coffee shop…once more.