FIRMLY PLANTED ◽ ENCOURAGEMENT
Choices and Fathers
by Dina Cavazos
Looking ahead to upcoming Father’s Day, I reminisce about my father, and fathers in general. I have to admit I have regrets. I don’t like having regrets because the past is the past and there is nothing to be done about it, except learn from it and hope my experiences can help others.
At 18, I didn’t realize how important one’s choice of a life partner is. When it comes to family and children, the person with whom you are “joined together as one” has a profound effect; however, although this was an area of difficulty and trouble, God used it to humble me and turn me around. What if I had made a different choice? I’m guessing there would’ve been both good and bad results. One can never know and what ifs are pointless and a waste of time to dwell on.
The fact is, my dad was a wonderful man, no longer on this earth. I shared some details about him in this month’s “Seven for You (Tips)”, so I won’t repeat it. Suffice it to say he was a very good and loving father.
I didn’t choose someone even remotely like him, as research suggests most women do. I don’t know how I got to be so confused, naïve, and rebellious. I made choices that disappointed him, though he never said it. My life was complicated because of these choices. I deeply wish I had been more attentive, appreciative, and expressive of my love for him. He encouraged my very early attempts at writing as a child, and I know he would be delighted that the seed finally sprouted. I don’t know if he’s watching from one of those rooms in the Mansion, but I trust one day he’ll know.
Leaving regrets and melancholy behind, I’m now thinking of a wonderful father who grew up without a good role model because of the reasons I just shared. My son. He’s been a single dad since my grandson was two; without the benefit of a good example in his own life, he is loving, dedicated, and everything a wonderful father should be. I’m so very proud of him and the amazing person my grandson has turned out to be.
Choices are so important, but we’re human and make mistakes. I’m profoundly grateful for many things, and these are among the top: that God, my spiritual father, snatched me from the path I was on; for my four children who God knew from the beginning; for my son who has chosen a better way than he was shown; and, most of all, for the Eternal Loving Father who saves, heals, restores, and makes wrongs right.
Whatever your father story is—it may be wonderful, it may be painful—God’s unseen hand is in the midst, and someday all will be known.