PRACTICAL PARENTING ◽ HOME
It Doesn't Work
by Marcy Lytle
The other night we were eating with the kids and 9 year old Ayla put my reading glasses on, as did her older brother, age 11. They didn’t keep them on for very long, though. We laughed and took a few pictures, but they gave them back to me because they couldn’t see well with the readers, while I couldn’t see without them! They were made for eyes that were my age, but not theirs!
I realized that we as parents often get frustrated with our kids of any ages that they can’t “see” what we see.
Babies can’t see the danger of crawling toward a plug on the wall, but we can.
Toddlers cannot possibly see the value in eating good food, but we know the value because we’ve learned.
Elementary school children do not see or understand why they can’t have a cell phone all their own.
Middle school kids can’t see the harm in cheating a little on an exam.
High school kids are unable to see the silliness of comparison and trying to be like “those kids.”
It goes on and on. But the truth of the matter is that the lens through which we as parents see is one that has been crafted over time, for our aging eyes. That’s why my readers hurt the eyes of the kids when they tried them on. It’s why I took them back and wore them home.
It’s why we are given to our kids as the ones who see and then teach and train our kids to eventually see as well, with clear vision, as they age.
However, we often yell or reprimand our kids because they don’t have the maturity to see clearly, and thus act accordingly with safety and caution.
There’s no use in offering the kids “our wisdom” and expecting them to use it without fail. There are verses in the bible that talk about tying and binding His words and then teaching and writing about that same Word to the next generation.
It’s so good to read the Word to toddlers and babies, and sing words of truth over them. It’s awesome parenting to then write our older kids notes of who they are in Christ, the truth about God’s love for them, and place in their lunch boxes or atop their pillows at night. We share the wisdom, the insight, the vision, but we don’t place the heavy burden of seeing as we do…only learning and listening as we train.
It’s then, and only then, that as they mature they will then begin to see clearly and act without stepping off a curb into traffic or going to a friend’s house where no good is going on. The vision that was only ours eventually becomes the vision we’ve given them, through the lens of His word.
Kids always want to grab our glasses, don’t they? From the time they learn to reach and hold things, they take them off our faces. And then when they’re 9 and 11 they think it’s funny to try them on once again. They’re observing the glasses through which we peer and see, and while they hand them back, they will eventually have glasses of their own that fit their vision.
It’s up to us to take care of the little eyes that are given to us, so that the lens through which they look as they mature fits their eyes and causes them to walk straight and clearly, no blurry steps along the way…