A DAY I N THE LIFE â—½ ENCOURAGEMENT
What if...Revisited
by Bekah Holland
I usually try not to live in the land of “what ifs.”
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Mostly because I already excel in overthinking and self-blame, so it’s not exactly a healthy place for me to wander off to. But every now and then, I find myself there anyway, questioning… well, just about everything.
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Like what if I had worked harder in school and gotten my degree? Would my family have struggled the way we have these last few years?
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But then I follow that thought a little further.
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If I had, I wouldn’t have taken the job at that restaurant, in that city. I wouldn’t have ended up in the not-so-romantic Newark airport. I wouldn’t have met my husband. And that means I wouldn’t have been given the gift of my beautiful children.
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And suddenly, that “what if” doesn’t feel so simple anymore.
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Because our life, every messy, hard, beautiful part of it, has shaped me into who I am. So maybe the “right thing” isn’t always the same as the best thing. Or maybe when God said, “I know the plans I have for you,” He already knew I wouldn’t always follow what the world calls right… so He gently leads me toward what’s best instead.
Now, if I’m going to play the “what if” game, I try to play a different version too.
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Not right away, of course. Usually I’ve already taken a deep dive into a gopher hole of doubt and regret first. I’m still a work in progress. But trying has to count for something, right?
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So I shift.
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And I think about the moments that stayed with me.
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The ones where someone showed up for me without even realizing it. The ones that quietly changed the entire direction of my day.
Not big, flashy gestures. Just small, gentle things. Right when I needed them most.
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A smile from a stranger.
A hug from a friend that lasted just a few seconds longer than usual.
A quick message that simply said, I see you. I love you. No reason. Just because.
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I’ve been held together by someone else’s arms when I was falling apart. I’ve been met with kindness on days when I was doing everything I could just to keep it together. I’ve had people remind me that I matter when I couldn’t see anything good in myself.
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Those moments didn’t fix everything.
But they gave me just enough.
Just enough to take the next step. Just enough to get through the rest of a really long day.
And sometimes, just enough is everything.
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We all know a smile won’t fix a broken heart. But it can soften the edges. A kind word won’t make someone love themselves overnight, but it can remind them they’re worth something when they’ve forgotten.
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So don’t underestimate the small things.
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You don’t have to change someone’s whole life to make a difference. Sometimes just being a little bit of light in the middle of someone’s darkness is enough.
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Because the truth is, we have no idea what anyone else is carrying.
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That small, ordinary thing you almost didn’t do… might be the very thing that helps someone keep going.
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So if you find yourself playing the “what if” game, try this instead:
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What if I choose kindness every chance I get?
What if I hug my kids a little longer?
What if I reach for my husband’s hand every chance I get?
What if I call my friends more?
What if I smile at a stranger just because?
And what if those small things… end up being the “just enough” we all need?
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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a listening ear… all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
— Leo Buscaglia