So many of my loved ones are going through awful trials right now, and it just breaks my heart. I love these dear people so. If only my caring and concern were enough to fix everything! I feel so helpless sometimes. 

 

It's normal to not know what to say or do and to feel ineffective when disaster strikes a loved one. But simply being near can be incredibly valuable. One of my fondest memories while going through an especially hard trial of my own was when a sweet friend said, "I don't know what to say except that I stand with you. You are not alone, and God is also here, somehow bringing good out of this." So much that she could have said might have made things worse -- and many of my well-meaning friends have said such things -- but her simple statement of being there with me was perfect.

 

I think about the story of Job and the input his three friends offered when he was his most vulnerable. I'm sure that they had good intentions, at least, initially. But it's so easy to get into hot water when we try to explain why something is happening; and it simply isn't our job. In the end, God was angry with Job's friends and only forgave them for how they misrepresented him when Job obediently prayed for their forgiveness. When a friend is already down, explaining that they must somehow deserve it is usually the last thing they need. Additionally, that simply isn't necessarily the way God works. Each person's journey with God is a sacred one, and we are wise to acknowledge that mystery. If something difficult or challenging must be said, pray it will be said in love, and at the proper time. Possibly even by someone else.