I wish I could tell you this was a special occasion kind of neurosis for me. It’s not. The irrational picture in my head of what things should be like, look like, and feel like has yet to work out the way it does in the Hallmark movies I love to hate. Will I ever let it go? If I had one of those magic 8 balls, I’m pretty sure the answer would be “unlikely.” 

 

Times like these (both holidays and random Tuesdays), when I let those things take root, my thankfulness turns into something a little closer to a whiny pity party and self-doubt. But recently I read something that’s started to change the way I see the everyday things around me. We’ve all heard of and likely experienced triggers, which are a trauma response to past painful experiences, even those we think we’ve “healed” from. However, since we know that most things have a way of balancing out, the opposite of a trigger is something called a “glimmer.”  This research started back in the 90s, but thanks to some dedicated scientists, psychologists, and, of course, TikTok, the glimmer theory has made its way into mainstream culture.

 

For those new to this idea, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version.

 

Glimmers can be:

• Tiny moments of inspiration and awe

• Things that spark joy and calm

• Micro-moments that cause small mood shifts

• Things that send our nervous system signals that let it know that you are safe

• Moments that bring hope even when we feel lost

• Anything that brings us peace and contentment

 

And once we start to embrace these glimmers, we have the opportunity to find so much more beauty in the world around us, creating a mindset of gratefulness even in the smallest things. Like those few quiet, peaceful minutes by yourself, while the house is still quiet, holding your favorite mug filled with hot coffee. Maybe it’s a moment when you notice the sun shining through the trees, drenching your own little piece of the world around you in gold and magic.

 

It’s so easy to find ourselves caught up in the day-to-day chaos of our lives without finding much time to stop and smell the roses. Finding things to complain about comes very easily to me. Do I vent about the fact that managing my kid’s band schedule is like a full-time job that I pay to work at? Maybe once or a hundred times. Have I whined about the fact that cleaning a boy’s bathroom should require a hazmat suit, OSHA regulations, and hazard pay? You betcha! But sometimes I get so caught up in all the things I am doing, or failing to do, that I forget how grateful I should that I have so many amazing things to try to juggle. 

 

I have the kind of family that so many people dream about. We aren’t perfect. We’re messy, and oh so human. We’ve said words we wished we could take back, hurt each other, and failed so many times. But I can also tell you how big and loud we love, forgive, and stand up for each other. My husband never lets a day go by without loving me far beyond words, and I’m more in love with him today, almost 20 years after we said I do. My kids are the most beautiful and best things I’ve ever done. Through every mistake (theirs and mine), bad choices, and even some sassy mouths, I’ve been gifted the chance to watch them act out of pure kindness, speak up for others who don’t have a voice, and love with a fierceness that can’t be taught. I’ve got friends who deserve so much more than the friendship I have offered them, but they still show up for me in a million different ways. My husband and I don’t have jobs right now, and we’re probably more terrified than we’ve ever been about how we are going to make it through each day. Depression, hopelessness, and fear claw at us unrelentingly. But what I need to remember is that we’ve had amazing past careers that gave us the opportunity to make a home and a life for our family, reminding us that we can do everything and anything together, through the One we keep choosing to put our faith in. I’ve learned more lessons through my failures than I would have learned if success came easily. And most importantly, no matter what today looks like, what challenges we’re facing, or how gloomy the forecast may be, today isn’t the end of our story. At least not yet.

 

So until then, I’m going to keep searching for glimmers. The feel of the grass under my feet. The first colors of fall that give us down here in the south a bit of hope that cool breezes are just around the corner. The moments my teenagers choose to spend their precious time cuddled up on the couch with me instead of the world of Instagram. The feel of my husband’s hand covering mine, reminding me that with him I’m safe. And with my family near, my heart is at home. Today, maybe look for those glimmers in your own life…you just might find a tiny bit of magic in the ordinary.

 

“What a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to live, to enjoy, to love.”

-Marcus Aurelius