I DON'T DO TEENAGERS â—½ HOME
Raising teens is so easy…said no parent anywhere. It’s hard! And we try our best to teach them and train them and hope that they walk into adulthood with sanity, wisdom and skills. But what about the things they teach us? Oh my goodness, we can learn a lot when raising teens, while we ourselves are trying to do the teaching. It’s we that become the students of lessons well learned, just by hanging with those kids once they hit the age of 13 and exit at the age of 18 or beyond…
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They’re not carbon copies of us. Have you ever said, “Where did they get that from?” when you observed a behavior you know they never learned from you? We think they ought to be just like us, but thank God they’re not. They’re a unique individual and we can learn to love that uniqueness that makes them different from the way we are.
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They can have a relationship with God that we don’t understand. Imagine that! I had one child that was so demonstrative (and still is) in her worship, and we used to dance and sing. But my other child is quiet as a mouse, and I often wondered – was he getting it? And little did I know that he maybe got more than I did, and God was faithful.
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They might love to wear what we would not! My daughter and I love to shop together, but we have totally different tastes in clothing. I think she looks oh, so cute in what she wears, but it’s not what I would pick out. And vice-versa. Moms love to choose their kids’ clothing when they kids are small, but it’s really actually cool to let go and see what they like, and then learn to like them in that!​
They most definitely will test our faith to the max, when they stay out late, don’t call, hang out with that friend, or argue over everything. And while we can fret (and I did), it’s really such a lesson to learn that God really loves them more than we do. We don’t have “bad” kids just because they lose it from time to time. We have normal kids, and we have a big God.
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They might find their “true love” at young age and we will panic (and I did) because they have to finish school and then college, don’t they? God can handle these surprises as well, and we can steer them, train them on the beauty of waiting, and encourage them and pray for them. That’s our job. And it’s healthy to trust Him, and sleep at night without worry. (It’s hard, I know.)
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They most likely will pull away and close their door and hang with friends, and we will wonder what happened to their closeness with us. But those times and those years when they grow up and move out may be the most painful, but yet the ones that send us to our knees and to closeness with Him. And that’s a good thing, eventually…
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They will get their driver’s license and smile and wave as they back out of the driveway for that first solo trip, and we’ll smile and wave, too. But then we’ll cry our eyes out when we step into the house and worry if they will return safely. Those kids backed out because we taught them how, and they’re on the same road where we have survived for years. And they’re happy. It’s one of the hardest things to do as a parent, to let them drive alone, but they’re not alone…and neither are we.
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They will cry with their first breakup, stomp when we tell them no, eat too much of the fast food variety, need help with their homework and then push us away, and be embarrassed sometimes when we speak to their friends. And then…they will be polite to that adult, pray and find that God does answer them, realize that our no was a good thing, and apologize when they’re wrong. It’s then that we learn that our training and our testing is all working together for good for them…and for us.