COUSIN MOMS ◽ TIPS
Mom of Three
If I’m being honest, date nights – going out – are few and far between. We were in a season for a long while where we really didn’t want to leave the kids, because free nights were few, and we wanted to include them. Date nights are definitely important, but there is also a balance. For us, we do a good job of connecting on a daily basis – at night when the kids are asleep we chat and talk. Other times, we get a random night when kids are at a sports practice or with grandparents. This past season, while the kids were in school, my husband and I had lunch together because we both work at home! I do know that having time with him, dating him, is important. But only “date night” connections every so often is not enough, and we also have a budget, but day-to-day connections work as well.
It’s the day to day connections where we chat and spend time over coffee, or even a ride in the car to pick up the kids, that works for us! Our date nights don’t have to be big or fancy or every week. They can be a simple lunch or a shopping excursion to pick out wood floors for the house!
When we do have a designated date night, we often stay in (to save money). We watch a show we enjoy together, and have dinner at home, and make it cozy. If we do go out, it’s a coffee date for sure – and sometimes bowling! Our love language is coffee, and we sometimes play a game. We don’t visit the theater a lot, because we watch enough shows at home. We like to go somewhere that we can talk and do something, or even just walk around!
Sometimes we plan our dates nights together, or sometimes we surprise each other – especially on birthdays.
So both – date nights out and daily connections – are a great balance for us! I’ve been so grateful for this season. Finding time with toddlers is hard, but now that the kids are in school we have more time. We also love to serve together, and call that connection, because we are super compatible that way!
A Hard Thanks
by Charissa & Kamrin
Thanks giving…it’s easy when life is good. But what about when life hands us lemons, or our kids are sick constantly or encounter hard things at school or when finances are tight? Is giving thanks easy then? And yet…we’re told to give thanks in all things. Not for all things, necessarily, but in all things. What does that mean?
Charissa
Being a mom is hard. Every day presents its challenges, the seasons and the years. It’s all about perspective. Specifically for me as a mom, I am thankful for healthy children. Having three girls presents its challenges with emotions running high, from being hit or taking something or being disappointed. Each one of our daughters is so different in their responses, and I can feel overwhelmed. I might breathe and say, “Girls, let’s get it together!” When all three leave me at my wit’s end, I have to just navigate and teach, but at the end of the day when the house is quiet – I am thankful for healthy children. I know this not is the case with many families, who have challenges with disabilities or illness. I’m thankful that overall my girls are healthy.
Being a mom is juggling schedules. Where do I need a babysitter? When are the school functions and practices and how we get who to where? What outfits do they need? I love it all, but this too is a hard season, and I wonder if life will ever slow down. Just pausing and giving thanks for this busy time. There will be one day when our house is quiet and we will miss the busyness and the running of the feet, and throwing and rushing and going through the drive-thru. So I thank God for this season. Thankful that I have schedules to juggle.
Being a mom and wife is full of demands. Going alongside our schedules, the responsibilities I have being a mom and a wife and owning a business, working in children’s ministry at church, and spending quality time with God, my husband and my kids. There’s always a constant “mom guilt” – did I give enough to work or did I neglect my kids? My husband goes there and I take a kid here, and we feel pulled in different directions. I thank God for the opportunity to have these roles, and I often think of priorities. Number 1 is my relationship with God and how things are strengthening and blessing my relationship with Him, and 2 is my husband, and 3 is my kids. How is my busyness fitting in with these demands on my time? I am thankful for these roles…
Kamrin
Going into 2026, we were really struggling financially, and it was necessary for me to go back to work full-time. This scared me for several reasons. I’m passionate on just being a mom and fully invested in my kids’ lives, to attend activities and being present. One thing we talked about when we first had kids was that we would make sacrifices to stay home. We have made those! I also was scared because I knew it would be exhausting, trying to pour out and then come home to more “kid things” and I felt like I was giving my children what was “left of me.” However, we were at the limit financially, and there was no other way, with kids getting older and having bigger expenses, without my working.
Little did I know that I would have to say good-bye to my dad. Life throws us mountains and valleys and curves. Sometimes it’s expected and that’s hard, and then it’s unexpected and that’s harder. I knew I was going back to work, and I wanted to give it my all. And now there was the added grief, along with parenting my children and being a daughter and a friend, it’s been the hardest year yet. Grief doesn’t have a timeline or rule book, and everyone experiences it differently. Learning to support your family while also raising kids is extremely difficult. It’s just hard. Not sure that’s even the right word.
Now that November and Thanksgiving is here, without Dad, I’ve had to anchor myself in things I’m thankful for. These have kept my fee steady: The faithfulness and the Word to keep me grounded, when my world is spinning. So, as a mom the hard things I’m grateful for are:
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The doors the Lord shut and the door he opened for my job. While I am exhausted and there are challenges, my job is huge blessing to my life and my family. It’s been hard to manage each evening, and I’m already seeing fruit in my children, as they have stepped up and grown. (I miss them being little!) I am so proud of each of them in handling their homework and their schedules. They’ve set alarms and made calendars, etc. I’m thankful for growth.
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Seeing how my kids have navigated losing their granddad, Mister. They all grieve differently but have been super sweet to me and to Ella (grandmother). I’ve seen their faith take root in new ways. And while I wish my dad was still here, he would be so proud of them. I can see the things he spoke into them over the years through prayer or words, as my kids grow. It’s hard to teach kids how to walk with the Lord, how to grieve and how to face unanswered prayers. This hard. My kids inspire and encourage me daily. Grief sucks, it seems unfair, and it’s overwhelming. But we are not consumed. Dad loved watching the kids and would want us to continue on...and to still love life and love Him.
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As a mom, when I’m super busy, it’s hard to take time for the Word myself. But it’s important. My faith and intention to read the Word has grown, because my kids have questions, and I want to be filled with the Word. That comes from these hard season. I can’t parent and pour out if I am not filled. I start my morning in the Word and in worship. There are days, as a mom, when I want to pull away and not be available. But then I’m reminded that He is our strength every day, and He is our provider. I do grieve, I do get frustrated, but even in all of it…even anger, my faith is centered on Christ and His faithfulness. At the end of the dad, these are things my dad poured into our family and those around him.
When we and my kids look back on this season, I want them to be able to say that year was hard and we miss Mister terribly, but God – in the middle of that – He is still good and faithful and present. We will say that he carried us, taught us and strengthened us. It doesn’t erase the hard or the emotions, but it’s a perspective I want us to learn and carry out of 2026. The hard is here, without dad, and finishing schoolwork and changes, and so many pivots. I want us all to see the growth and roots and that God is all of it, the little and the big. He see us and is present in every mountain and valley, He’s all and all. He’s at the center, and I’m grateful. I am so grateful for my mom and my dad who taught me and showed me how to have a marriage and home centered on Christ, and for the heritage of grandparents who also taught us the same. Hard days and weeks and months, we are able to walk “through” and find healing, growth, strength, peace and patience.