SEVEN FOR YOU ◽ TIPS
Hospitality
Our Panel of Women
Some are just made hospitable and find it easy to host and have guests, and others like the idea but it’s just too stressful. We asked our panel about it and asked them to share. After all, it’s the season when family and friends might come calling, and it might be nice to know how others feel about this thing called hospitality.
It’s all in the details when planning parties. Taking a theme and going over-the-top with tablescapes, sweet and savory food, and decorations is the best! Little theme related touches will be in all the nooks and crannies. About thirty minutes before guests arrive, make sure the candles are lit, the overhead lights have been dimmed, and the thermostat is turned down (there’s nothing worse than sweaty guests). It’s always nice to have a favor guests can take with them – maybe a cookie wrapped in cellophane and tied with a bow or a tiny plant to remind them of our time together. As much as I love hosting, I do tend to stress myself out before the event. But the moment the first guest arrives, all the pre-party anxiety melts away!
Visiting others is always a treat! Whether it’s a holiday dinner or a party with girlfriends, I never arrive empty handed. A hostess gift is a sweet way to thank the host and let them know you appreciate their hard work! It could be a decorative kitchen towel tied with ribbon, a lovely candle, or flowers. Just make sure the gift doesn’t require the host to scramble! The flowers should already be in a vase (available at thrift stores for a couple dollars). And if the hostess gift is food or drink, let them know it is for them to enjoy later, so as not to ruin their party aesthetic.
We don’t have overnight guests often, but when we do there are a few things to help them feel welcome. To let them know I’ve anticipated their arrival, I’ll leave a small gift on the bed (candle, book, chocolates). Also, guests will find water, soda, and snacks tucked into a cute basket in their room. And bath towels and extra blankets will be visibly available to eliminate the need for them to wonder, search, or ask. – Jennifer
When I lived in Austin, TX, I loved hosting parties. My little house was full of friends from church, family, and musician friends. Keys to hosting a good party include a table full of good self-serve food, a diverse playlist on a device you can Bluetooth to a speaker and forget about for the night, and a fun theme or occasion to celebrate.
I loved themed parties. For my fortieth birthday, we had a luau, and it was a blast. I served finger foods and pulled pork sandwiches, which I serve at every party, and they always ran out. I gave each guest a flowered lei and played authentic Hawaiian music. I also hosted book release parties for each of the three novels in The Garden Key Tales series I released while living in Austin. My dear friends were always faithful to purchase a book to support the cause.
But since moving to Nashville seven years ago, I haven’t been hosting much. It makes me a little sad, but I recognize that life progresses in seasons. I will host my writer’s group Christmas party at my house this year, so I’m excited. My mind is swirling with bookish small gifts and decorations! - Angela
I love having people over to my house, but I do stress about it too much. When i get over that, and plan for guests, I enjoy it immensely. I think I enjoy preparing food, the tablescape, and a fun activity the most! I use the internet a lot for inspiration. And I always include color, texture, light and height on my table!
When I visit others in their homes, it's so nice to just be invited...truly! I honestly just love to see the inside of different homes, and how people decorate. And I appreciate them telling me where the bathroom is. I don't like to ask! If the dogs don't jump on me, that's a plus...
I am not hosting Thanksgiving, but I am doing the decorating and bringing lots of food to my son's home. Every year, I decorate the table differently. It's really fun! This year I found some pretty placemats and plates that coordinate, and I'll go from there...- Marcy
I think hospitality is important because connection is important. I have had seasons where I had capacity for hosting events such as dinners or small groups at my home. And I have had seasons where I don’t have capacity for it. I am definitely not in a season of hosting, but I still think connection is important, so I will make time to meet people out for meals or time together. My ideal would be to make enough money to hire someone else to clean my home, and then order in a meal to share. Then all of my efforts would be spent connecting and loving.
We do host Thanksgiving every year, and it’s a total family effort to get the house and plans in order. We even have a “Thanksgiving Commissioner,” my daughter, who makes spreadsheets and assigns duties and dishes out to each person. I am grateful that she likes to plan things. I like to sit, look people in eye, and listen!
One last thing: my part time job at Chick-fil-A is literally to “host” people. I am assigned to the dining room, where I spend my whole day looking people in the eyes, asking them how they are, playing with cute babies, and serving them. A kind smile, eye contact, and a sincere “I’m glad you’re here” makes me good at my job. I love people. - Laura
Not liking to host is me...it's about my introverted/homebody personality. I did host during my dating days and didn't mind doing it for a date, just not for large gatherings. I did host holidays at my place a couple of times, but the go-to place for the holidays was always my parents. Some enjoy the prep, cooking, and all that goes into having people over, but I find it stressful. – Cathy
We’ve been in our house now for 27 years. When we bought it, we knew it was God’s house and we were the stewards of it. And for that reason, mainly, we’ve always been hospitable and used it for any party, get together, church function or whatever, and it still is.
When our kids were at home and growing up, we were known for having the party house. For sports and church parties, for every Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve, we decorated, opened our home and everyone was welcome. I always did and still do love to cook and fix a buffet of food and desserts. The only problem now is that the kids are grown and gone so our hospitable party making has really slowed down. We are no longer the party house, but I still love to open our home whenever it’s needed. We still have church groups come a couple times a year and our kids still find their way home whenever they can and bring all our wonderful grands.
Even though I do find being hospitable is a little harder now that I’m older, God is always so good to give me the strength and energy I need. And I feel afterwards that He sits and smiles with me as we think about it as a job well done. – Carole
My grandson who is in the Army, will be here for Thanksgiving, so of course I thought I would host and invite my mother and my sister and brother-in-law. I like small Thanksgivings these days and I live to cook! There was a time when I wanted every single relative to be there, but not anymore. This year, as I just learned this week, my mother will be with my brother in Washington DC. Now, I’ll have to see if my sister and my brother-in-law have any other plans. I hope it isn’t just my grandson and me! That would be sad. Planning Thanksgiving is always stressful, though. - Anita