AFTER 40 YEARS â—½ MARRIAGE
Pot of Gold
by Marcy Lytle
I’ve talked before about wishing my husband were more “spiritual” in our early years of marriage and how I judged him if he didn’t show his spiritual self like I thought he ought to. Geez, I wasted so much time being irritated. And it’s taken us years to create a rhythm, which I’ve also shared, of enjoying time at night to study and pray together. But here’s the thing: it’s become so refreshing now that I’m learning to enjoy God, rather than make God-time laborious.
​
We have a book that we study from together, and none of the lessons take more than 20-30 minutes. Is it a deep-dive? Probably not, but it’s perfect for evenings after work when we’ve both had long days.
​
We have learned to take turns reading the book aloud, or looking up verses, depending on who feels the most awake.
​
I’ve learned to quit judging prayer time on length or words. Sometimes, his five sentence prayer is packed with more faith and peace than my long one that includes all the burdens that have buried me in the day.
There are nights when it just doesn’t work, and we don’t want to do it, so we go to bed. That too, is spiritual and wise, on nights when tiredness of the body would just wipe out any brain diving into a book.
​
We don’t always have the same response to what we read, and that’s okay. Remember how we all had different learning styles in school? We do in reading the Bible, as well.
​
Ending the study time with a song is the most fun. We just scroll “new Christian music” and listen to what pops up or move on to another. We have found so many new artists we’ve come to love!
​
A few times we’ve argued, because we should have put the book down and gone to bed, instead of taxing our weary heads.
​
Some nights have been so special as we grabbed each other’s hands and cried together and wept over one lone prayer request that we needed to ask for and believe.
​
That guest room where we sit has now become a sanctuary for three (him, me and Him) and more often than not we can’t wait to flip on the light, settle into our chairs and read and share.
​
It’s really been one of the highlights of being this age and finally getting it, that time with Him, together. It can be so relaxing, romantic, fulfilling and the best part of the day. And while young parents may not be able to do this, and other families may be gone all evening and chores have to be done when the kids go to bed…it’s something to think about. I wish we’d grabbed this routine years ago, but here we are now…46 years married…and we’ve found gold.
​
Thankful.