COUSIN MOMS â—½ TIPS
Mom of Three
​
If I’m being honest, date nights – going out – are few and far between. We were in a season for a long while where we really didn’t want to leave the kids, because free nights were few, and we wanted to include them. Date nights are definitely important, but there is also a balance. For us, we do a good job of connecting on a daily basis – at night when the kids are asleep we chat and talk. Other times, we get a random night when kids are at a sports practice or with grandparents. This past season, while the kids were in school, my husband and I had lunch together because we both work at home! I do know that having time with him, dating him, is important. But only “date night” connections every so often is not enough, and we also have a budget, but day-to-day connections work as well.
It’s the day to day connections where we chat and spend time over coffee, or even a ride in the car to pick up the kids, that works for us! Our date nights don’t have to be big or fancy or every week. They can be a simple lunch or a shopping excursion to pick out wood floors for the house!
​
When we do have a designated date night, we often stay in (to save money). We watch a show we enjoy together, and have dinner at home, and make it cozy. If we do go out, it’s a coffee date for sure – and sometimes bowling! Our love language is coffee, and we sometimes play a game. We don’t visit the theater a lot, because we watch enough shows at home. We like to go somewhere that we can talk and do something, or even just walk around!
​
Sometimes we plan our dates nights together, or sometimes we surprise each other – especially on birthdays.
​
So both – date nights out and daily connections – are a great balance for us! I’ve been so grateful for this season. Finding time with toddlers is hard, but now that the kids are in school we have more time. We also love to serve together, and call that connection, because we are super compatible that way!
Here & There (Saving and Spending)
by Charissa & Kamrin
It’s a huge topic for families – saving and spending – and how to do both. We are hitting this hard because it’s a hard life for so many parents and kids, as they navigate all the expenses that come with raising a family. And yet, life goes on, and we eat and we drink and we have fun – somehow. We asked the cousin moms how they manage finances and save here and there, or if they do, and their honest answers are the best.
​
Charissa
​
The cost of living has dramatically increased over the years! My husband and I were traveling on vacation with the kids last week, and went through Chick-Fil-A (which we love), and it was nearly $50 for us all to eat. It was an "aha" moment of realizing how much the cost of everything has increased. Even owning a dental practice, all of our supplies, vendors, etc. have increased their fees. Here are a few small ways we try and save when we can:
​
Shopping @ Aldi. We recently got an Aldi in our town and the prices are a lot more affordable than some of the bigger name grocery stores - especially for meat & produce. They even have some unique gifts/home decor - new every week. Snack items for the kids are great here too! You won't find too many name brand items, so if you are looking for a particular brand, you should stick with the main grocery store.
-
Limiting Eating Out: With a family of 5, even with younger kiddos, meals are expensive! It does take time & effort to plan out meals for the week based on our schedule, but I find that if I set aside time to do this, it saves me money from running through a drive through, and the mental load of worrying what to do for dinner.
-
Splitting Meals: When we do eat out, I try to have the kids split meal items (as our little girls don't each much!), and sticking with water as a drink (which is generally free). You may want to check into KIDS EAT FREE nights at restaurants. A lot of restaurants offer this service, or a discounted meal certain days of the week.
-
Personal Gel Nail Kit: With three girls, we are always asked if they can go get their nails done. There are times we may treat them to this for special occasions but in the in-between times, I have loved my own gel-nail kit! Some friends & family gifted me with it for my birthday last year, and it has saved us a lot of money at the nail salon! If buying it yourself, it is a little bit of an investment but in the long run it saves you.
-
Clothing: Kids SHARE clothes! A perk of having the same gender of kids, is they can pass down their clothes. We try to do this as much as possible. Also, Walmart has really stepped-up their fashion with Wonder Nation brand - fairly good quality, cute, and cheap! If you haven't checked them out, definitely do.
-
Free Activities: There are so many ways you can adventure with your kids and not break the bank. We live in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park - with a ton of available hikes, we love to just pick up and go explore. Free activity, good exercise, and gets us outdoors. Also, our local library usually provides plenty of free activities to partake in!
Living life is expensive, but just remember you don't have to have a lot to make amazing memories.
Kamrin
​
I will be honest. This is a hard topic, because I do not like talking about finances. It has been a point of frustration for years, even before all of the inflation! I have learned quite a bit about myself – I’m terrible at saving money.
​
In our marriage, we have to work on things together. My husband is not really a spender. I am a spender and it’s the way I show my heart to people – I love to give gifts to others, my family, friends, etc. However, I do this sometimes to the detriment of our own finances. However, with things being so expensive, I need to be a good steward of my money. Not sure I can answer this well, as it’s a constant daily discipline I struggle with.
​
I think it’s important to save for my children, their legacy, and I wouldn’t be where I am without my grandparents and my parents be there in our corner, for us. Finances have been really hard for us since my husband lost his job and shifted several years ago. Even with raises, we don’t stay up with inflation, and we are counting pennies.
​
It’s hard with three kids and one main income. I try hard to stay home, fully invested. I know many work outside the home full-time, but I’m not made for that. Coming home to
all the activities at night with three kids, I mentally and in every way cannot manage. I can’t pour out all day long and give at night. On paper, though, one income is not easy.
​
There are days when I don’t know how we’re paying this or doing this. So now, I’m substitute teaching, and have an affiliate marketing business. It’s hard to juggle these flexible jobs, but enables me to be a present mom. The cost of gas and groceries and living is hard. Some days, I want to cry.
​
In the middle of all this, God has been present. On days when I don’t know how we are going to pay, we get an escrow payment or an increase in my business, or lots of little things that give us what we need. That’s what keeps me going. But YES, I need to be better at saving, and do I struggle with spending? YES. I want to take the kids to get a drink, and we have a roof over our heads, we have food and my kids get to do a lot. I don’t know how, because it doesn’t add up.
​
I’m grateful for God, as he is with me especially at the grocery store. I try to make cuts, but I’m not sure how in some areas! However, we are grateful and blessed in these struggles.
​
So while I’m not good at saving, cutting, etc. I admit it. I often live in the moment, and I need to find a balance, and it’s not easy. I’m still growing and I’m grateful that he meets us where we are. Even when I make mistakes, He has been there. Unexpected ways of provision have come, every time, more than enough. And we still have opportunities to give.
​
So no matter where you are, with lots of kids or none, every family is different and values different things. Whatever it is for you, to save and learn and grow, pray over your finances and talk to the kids about where to spend and save. At the end of the day, asking Him and be faithful - and he will provide what you need – in grace and love.